Many words in the english language are open to misinterpretation, particularly by non-native speakers. What follows is a selection of amusin examples of alternative translations.

allotment - Full of meaning.

autocue - Traffic jam.

autonomy - I should be recognized by him.

avoidable - What a bullfighter tries to do.

baloney - Where hemlines fall.

barbecue - Waiting in line for a haircut.

bicycle - Go shopping for two wheels.

burglarize - What a crook sees with.

campaign - Backache from sleeping too long in a tent.

contest - Exam with rigged questions.

counterfeiters - Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

counter intelligence - Knowing how to knock down price tags.

control - A short, ugly prison mate.

dilate - Live long.

dogmatic - Run by canine power.

Eclipse - What a Cockney barber does for a living.

Enema - Not a friend.

Fortunate - Consumption of an expensive meal.

Gargoyle - Olive-flavoured mouthwash.

Heroes - What a guy in a boat does.

Isolate - Me not on time.

Knowledge - Nothing to stand on.

Legend - A foot.

Lymph - Walk with a lisp.

Munchkin - When Cannibals eat their family.

Nitrate - Cheaper than day rate.

Pecan - Container in which to urinate.

Protein - In favour of youth.

Relief - What trees do in the spring.

Support - Drink fortified wine.

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Taken from: "Eats, Shites and Leaves".