There's always two sides to every (HI)story. Jewish supremacists can't always get away with their simple-minded, racist (Oh wait, I forgot. You can't be racist towards white people. They deserve it, right?) examinations of history.

Snow is racist. It does not have an equal amount of colored snow as it does white snow. We must find a way to alter nature so that snow becomes colored.

When you decorate your tree for Christmas, you must put at least 24.8% colored bulbs, and they must be placed throughout the tree and not segregated in any matter.

Christmas presents must not be wrapped in white paper.

If Christmas music is to be played, under no circumstances is 'Have a White Christmas' to be Played.

Turkey may be served, but only if there is an equal amount of dark and white meat be served.

You must keep your colored and white dogs in the same room at all times, unsegregated, and they must get along at all times.