How to win
 

1. Go to Subway. Not the public transit, but the restaurant/fast-food sub place.

2. Order the following: Honey oat, teriyaki chicken, pepperjack cheese (provolone is a relatively decent substitute if pepperjack isn't an option. If provolone isn't an option then you need to find a new subway.) Toasted, please.

3. Toppings as followed, IN THIS ORDER. Honey mustard, teriyaki sauce, spinach, onions, green peppers, black olives, banana peppers, jalepenos, salt, pepper, parmesan cheese, oregano. If you are feeling extra brave and/or lifted, I advise oil and vinegar as well, but beginners should stick with the basics for now.

4. Eat and enjoy. You have just won the game!

You had me until black olives, but oood try!