4 words you never want to hear.
 

No, it's not "I think i'm pregnant".. or "I have a disease".. or anything of that nature.

If you truely care about someone, like I do it's rough to hear, even though they might not even be sure what the deal is.

"I'm having second thoughts".. with full context "I think im havin second thoughts of us.. idk.. I may just be having a down moment.. I think i'm bipolar".

My current.. girlfriend just sent me this via text, and i'm in the shitter of even how to respond. I told her well, that really sucks since I really do care for her, I know she has been telling me about her bad day, all day. There really hasn't been anything bad happened to us yet, we've already done the nasty, i've done tons of little things to show her I care for her, and we go out last night to hang out with some of "her friends".. which could be what the deal is.

I guess, I'm just out in the open on this one, and it throws me off. I usually am dead-on about people's situations, including my own, but this has really thrown me through a ringer.

I just responded to her that I guess maybe I had been coming on strong considering I just got out of a long relationship, and I just am looking for somebody to dump my whole heart into, and just maybe want more out of her.. and no reply.

Ugh, I guess a good weekend just got a little shittier, :-\

D3V, I feel for you man. In those types of situations, you basically can't do anything to make it progress in your favor. It's just a quagmire/stalemate that is going to turn into a loss.

That sucks dude. If I had any advice to give, I'd just have to say don't do/say anything to make it worse. Good luck in your rough patch, hopefully tomorrow will bring a better day.

first, next, and lastly let me tell you this. never give a woman any chance to think you are using her.

you should have asked her why, after that asked if there were things we could talk about perhaps things we can do together. If she still throws you the cold shoulder, then send it right back at her. if at this point she still doesnt give enough shits about talking with someone she is with then fck it.

I know whats its like trust me, life goes up and down - but when communication stops, the relationship is soon to follow. If she wont talk to you after you have tried in a more intelligent manner (see quote). Then i say give her, her space and let things boil down.

Man thats one of the worst things that could happen on the shitter.

Thanks fellas..

Well, nothing really updated yet, we're still texting, she says she's just not sure. And she was like this in the begenning as well.

There is no way that she should think I am using her, considering I told her we should try and develop our relationship more before we do anything, which we did wait a little while, but it finally caved in.

She did just text me though "I dont think I stand in the same place as you..." which I guess is the killer :-\

I'm just going to keep talking with her, maybe communcating like this will help. I need to write my story in about my ex girlfriend, and the rest of this story will make more sense.

your absolute best bet is keep her talking probably - but when she says shes done talking you kinda gotta bite your upper and lower lip and resist texting or calling her.

jamer, write us a hack for females please!

Well she isn't at that point, she just said in the begenning that she thinks she's having second thoughts about "us" and I guess now that she doesn't think she's on the same page as me. I basically told her that I still like her a bunch, and would be willing to work on things if she was up for it.. I mean, other than that there really isn't anything in my power to do, the ball is in her court.

the ball never left her court ;) "how women work" - by kazilla

Yeah there is a force feild forcing the ball the stay in the womens court. Good Luck D3V.

Thanks again buddies. I guess, the shittiest part about this whole situation is that it's coming through text messages. She is now though, talking a lot more, I guess apparently we both thought very differently of each other, this is nice though because atleast now I don't feel like I have to hold back anymore, or any feelings can be thrown out there because at this point really my side doesn't seem to be swayed any.. towards her atleast.

Hmph. Life really can suck somtimes, it's sucks the most when you figure you have everything figured out.

well i agree that texting can sometimes be easier to talk about your feelings, cause you're not being so vulnerable as you would be looking into someone's eyes and talking about something serious like that, i just don't understand how you two could be on totally different pages, she should've said something before, not just 'uh yeah i dont know if this is gonna work'. if she keeps going back and forth between feelings for you, then you just need to make your feelings clear and known to her, and the rest is up to her, because she has to decide if she's ready for the kind of relationship you want. or you may be overcompensating for your last gf or something, you could be coming on strong but you can't know that unless she says something. you can't expect to have a good relationship with someone if you both don't communicate feelings and thoughts and if you keep each other in the dark all the time. i know what this is like, trust me, it does not make good for a relationship.

The fact that she's texting you and not being up front about this whole situation tells me she doesn't want to put forth the effort for this relationship. If my girlfriend started texting saying she had doubts about us, I'd ask her to talk about this in person. Obviously, this is a big deal for you two and if she doesn't want to actually communicate about it with you and just send bullshit texts, she's not worth your while.

IMO, if she really cared for you she wouldn't be bullshitting with text messages.

That's how I figured it too, so I was like well I wanna talk about it in person, and she agreed to it but we still haven't talked in person since then. I guess we're just finished, it's mututal now. We've talked over the holiday as friends I guess.. and she still wants to hang out. It's like WTF?.. Maybe if I play my cards right I can get a fuckbuddy.

... thats lovely, d3v, really. very touching. why cant you boys just settle down.

I would love to settle down and find me a good girl, which by all accounts.. is fucking impossible.

... no it isnt, ask kaz :P

It really is. And when you do get one, you try to change and do everything for them, and they get tired of it, and lose interest. Maybe we need to find us some cougars or something, Women that know what they want..

A lot of girls our age aren't looking to settle down, bro. That's just the facts.

cougars is not the answer. us young girls do not need old bitches stealing all the young guys from us. jesus. i hate stupid cougars. they need to find men their own age and act their own god damn age, stupid old women looking for young guys to make them feel younger. the fact is that you get old and thats how you should act. god!

You have Kazilla so who cares? :p.