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-   -   Ponderisms (http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=45506)

D3V 2008-04-22 09:24 AM

Ponderisms
 
Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

WetWired 2008-04-22 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
Can you cry under water?

Yes, I'm pretty sure your tear glands work under water.
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Important enough to hire an assassin.
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

You think your own thoughts are worth two cents whereas others think them worth but a penny.
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Everyone is naked and genderless in heaven
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Because round boxes are more expensive to manufacture.
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
What disease did cured ham actually have?

In this case, the word indicates a preventative action.
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

The jet age which brought about the current terminal layout and reduced the movement of luggage by powered vehicle from car to plane had barely started at the time.
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

Because babies look so calm while sleeping
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

It is the judge that must hear the grounds for a case.
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

A movie is a production and a TV is a medium. Actors are often said to be "on the silver screen."
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

It is more time efficient and spacially informative to look arround from that distance.
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

They can be helping someone else while you change, thus making more money.
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

The s in pants or panties was originally possessive, indicating the "Pantalone's style" of trouser. Pantalones was shortened to pants, and feminized to panties.
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

That way noone can claim it's broken because it won't make toast dark enough for them. Also, I suspect that the effect varies for different types of bread -- perhaps pre-buttered.
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

I think the main sentiment of the song is lack of responsibilities due to "the master's gone away."
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

That would depend on local law, but a funeral procession would not, since it is supposed to be slow and somber, so it's a moot point.
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Then there would be no show.
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Goofy acts as a human, while Pluto acts as a dog. Perhaps Goofy's larger brain allowing speach also allows proper balance to walk on two legs.
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

He enjoies the chase.
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

A mixture of oils. While the former two have adjectives indicating source, the later's adjective clearly indicates usage.
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

No
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Yes
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

I didn't. The fact is common knowledge.
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Actually, it's only an asteroid if it's outside the whole sphere.
Quote:

Originally Posted by D3V
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

No, but I'd suspect that's only the case if you do it while he's resting and doesn't care to be disturbed, whereas in the car he's excited and doesn't care about such things.

Thanatos 2008-04-22 10:16 AM

Only you would pull something like this.

D3V 2008-04-22 10:35 AM

fuck ww

Smartass.

WetWired 2008-04-22 10:48 AM

Instead of wondering, why not go find the answers to your questions?

Tyrannicide 2008-04-22 10:53 AM

Owned, nicely I may add.

D3V 2008-04-22 11:07 AM

I'm just posting from where I read on another site, it's ponderisms, not answer these questions as best you feel is the correct way.

Asamin 2008-04-22 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WetWired
Yes, I'm pretty sure your tear glands work under water.
Important enough to hire an assassin.
You think your own thoughts are worth two cents whereas others think them worth but a penny.
Everyone is naked and genderless in heaven
Because round boxes are more expensive to manufacture.
In this case, the word indicates a preventative action.
The jet age which brought about the current terminal layout and reduced the movement of luggage by powered vehicle from car to plane had barely started at the time.
Because babies look so calm while sleeping
It is the judge that must hear the grounds for a case.
A movie is a production and a TV is a medium. Actors are often said to be "on the silver screen."
It is more time efficient and spacially informative to look arround from that distance.
They can be helping someone else while you change, thus making more money.
The s in pants or panties was originally possessive, indicating the "Pantalone's style" of trouser. Pantalones was shortened to pants, and feminized to panties.
That way noone can claim it's broken because it won't make toast dark enough for them. Also, I suspect that the effect varies for different types of bread -- perhaps pre-buttered.
I think the main sentiment of the song is lack of responsibilities due to "the master's gone away."
That would depend on local law, but a funeral procession would not, since it is supposed to be slow and somber, so it's a moot point.
Then there would be no show.
Goofy acts as a human, while Pluto acts as a dog. Perhaps Goofy's larger brain allowing speach also allows proper balance to walk on two legs.
He enjoies the chase.
A mixture of oils. While the former two have adjectives indicating source, the later's adjective clearly indicates usage.
No
Yes
I didn't. The fact is common knowledge.
Actually, it's only an asteroid if it's outside the whole sphere.
No, but I'd suspect that's only the case if you do it while he's resting and doesn't care to be disturbed, whereas in the car he's excited and doesn't care about such things.

Here is another one:
What were you trying to prove by answering all of those?

talentedhamster 2008-04-22 11:20 AM

lmfao!!!!! +1

HandOfHeaven 2008-04-22 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Asamin
Here is another one:
What were you trying to prove by answering all of those?

That's not a ponderism.

Asamin 2008-04-22 11:24 AM

Fine. It's a question then.

-Spector- 2008-04-22 01:41 PM

lol nice one WW.

D3V 2008-04-22 01:42 PM

They aren't meant to be answered, it's just suppoed to make you chuckle.

Asamin 2008-04-22 03:02 PM

If that is what it was for, it worked. We couldn't grade papers for 3 mins because I was reading them to the people grading papers.

D3V 2008-04-28 01:50 PM

Atleast somebody has a sense of humor.


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