It's sad...
 

To all of you who think that this is PM material, feel free to not reply here. To all of you who want to flame, get off topic, or make gay comments, *cough*Titus and Shinto*cough* feel free to go get a life and leave me out of it. To all of you who care how I feel, and why, here are my thoughts. I hope the recording of them here help set my mind at ease.

I always knew the day was coming... I even knew the date for a good long while, but it never really set in until just now.

Last weekend, I went to a last little mini-lan with some friends. I was tired. I wasn't really in the mood, but I went anyway. I went because it was the last one we'd get to have for at least a long time. Of course I had fun with my friends.

Wednesday, I packed up all my stuff. I packed nearly everything I had, save for the bed and large furniture. I left my Coca-Cola stuff at home, because I figured we wouldn't have room for all of it in the dorm room. I filled the living room with stuff that I was taking to college with me.

Thursday, I went to see Kristy to work out when we were going to meet Friday morning to leave. I ended up staying at her house last night. We laid together on the bed in the guest room for half an hour and just held each other. I set my alarm, and she went to bed. I mis-set the alarm, however, and got up an hour early. I went to her room and spent the extra hour holding her.

This morning, we drove to Matt's (randomthought; my roomate)house. We loaded his stuff in my truck and said goodbye to his family. We stopped by my house before running some quick errands we had to do before leaving town. We went back to my house, and I said goodbye to my mom.

The three of us came to Arlington. Matt and I went in and got our keys. We filled out the forms and started to move in our stuff. That took a while, but we finally got it done. Then we started arranging our room. It really started turning out great.

Later, Ashley (Matt's girlfriend) showed up. We unloaded the rest from the car she was driving and set up the room a bit more. Then we went to eat and do a little shopping for miscelaneous things (toothbrush, deodorant, etc). We got back to the dorm about 10:30.

After that, we all just layed in here and watched Leno. I finally started to realize that I wasn't living at home anymore. Laying in bed with Kristy, I realized that I wouldn't be able to see her as often soon. Sure, I will be visiting home next Thursday through Sunday, but I won't be able to visit every weekend. I'll start having more to do here, and I'll only be able to go every other week, then once a month after that.

Yes, I'll get to see her, but it's just so sad. I am now living at college. Kristy is also living at college, but she's not here with me. We're both starting real life, and it's far too soon. I do not wish to start high school over. I just don't want to have to be this far apart. She's only two hours away now, but in two years, Kristy is transferring to California. Then there will be a 28 hour drive separating us.

I cried in the room, and I finally got ahold of myself. The girls got up to leave around midnight. We walked them to the parking lot, and I started to cry again. Kristy told me it would be okay, and I know it will. It's just sad that I won't be able to drive right over and see her now. It's not that much farther, but this is the start of something that will put us further apart.

I don't fear for one second that our relationship will fail. I love Kristy so much that I will do anything to keep us together, and I know she loves me too. I just know that I'm going to be a lot more lonely without her around so much.

To all of you in a relationship: Cherish what you have. Love and enjoy every minute of it. There will come a time that you won't be able to have quite as easy access to it as you wish you had. That time for me is now. I wish I could run outside right now and see her, but I can't.

Kristy, I love you more than words can explain, more than pictures can portray, and more than hands can impress. Only the heart can truly express how much love I have for you, and I plan on doing everything in my power to show you that love. I'm sorry that we can't be together all the time now, but I plan on fixing that in the future. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I cried.

oh bob i feel your pain "feels the pain" no seriously man thats tough :(

Love is painful, very much so. Sometimes, I want to tear down all of the walls if I can't get to see the person.

...... Good luck to you, is the best I can tell you...

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Get your cameras ready because this is one of the few occasions you'll see me acting in an ernest and non-inflamatory fashion.

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Bob, I have to say I envy you to a degree. Having something in your life that is as precious and important as what you have with Silver (I'm not entirely comfortable with using actual names) is a one-in-a-million occurence. I've been single for over two years now, and once you get yourself into a rut like the one I'm trapped in, you find it's harder and harder to pull yourself out with each passing month. Much less pull yourself out and find someone you honestly love and connect with. For the love of God, whatever you do, don't give up on it. Either of you. Long-distance relationships hurt, but the pain is well-worth the amplified benefit of the time you actually get to spend with each other. But, I don't really have to tell you any of this, because you already know and understand exactly what I'm talking about. Just felt like pitching in my two cents.

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I'm gonna go take a shower now. All that sentimental crap has made me feel a little sticky.

dude that is harsh!! , where in california will she be staying?? riverside? santa monica,?

anyways, because of that post you put up, she cant leave you now :-P As long as Silver is an active member here in Zelaron, it will be as if she has never left, so your lucky that at least it wont be that boring and expensive like using the phone for 13 hours straight!!!! (i actually did that and my phone bill went up to 400 bucks.......which was half my pay check. i got pissed off and thats how we stoped talking to my woman!!) You two can talk at Zelaron what ever you wish (as long as all of us here at Zelaron can be part of it :P)

this is what you can do!!!

everytime you think of her lift wieghts!!
if she comes back to you and you gain a little wieght (i gained a little bit over 100 pounds) she will know that all you did was sit on your computer!! Same with Silver. Silver i know that you feel the same way, if both of you are always sad that you guys are far apart, thats where you both will lose. never say he is to far or she is to far (i got to say 28 hours apart is pretty far, but still!!) lets see who can change for the better till you two meet again :-P

i've been in those relationships.......i have SEEN those relationships. A lot of them start to become weak; even if the two came back together, it wont be the same, two people can have grown different likes and dislikes and then accepting to grow apart and soon BRAKE apart (example, if siver would say "oh bob and i use to go to the beach and talk for hours" and she tries to stop going to the beach just to stop a little of the pain of thinking of you, she WILL stop going to the beach and when you two are back together, she will not feel like going to the beach again.) it is up to Silver to talk to you bout it and instead of hating the beach, she can preserve the love and save it for another wonderful evening with you :-P

i have also seen relationships that come out from this "long distance" relationship and seen them stronger than ever, so strong that marrage is on the way.......communication is the key thing and trust is the backbone. if both is there, then love is always there !!

Just wanted to start out saying that I resent that comment. If you don't know by now, yes, I like flaming people, but usually only in the Flame Forum, and no, I'm not a complete asshole, I do have a soft side, just like everyone else (Although not everyone will admit it).

Anyway, I know what you are feeling. Going to college, and leaving people behind (Although you really aren't, but it feels that way) is a really hard thing to cope with, especially when you have someone close like you do, Bob. It is a painful process, but honestly, it builds character. There are going to be times in your life where things don't work out, and this is one of those things, but its past experiences and talking to loved ones that get us around those diffcult obstacles.

I'm sure, just as you are, that everything will work out. Good luck, and don't let anything hold you back while at college. Take it from me, the first few weeks of college are crucial, that is when you meet pretty much all the people you will continue to hang out with and bond with. Keep yourself open, and be yourself. Good luck! :)

(note to the ignorant: Ashley (Matt's girlfriend) is me)

Awww Chris I'm sorry....would've tried to leave later if I had known you were that upset. We barely made it home as it is, had to stop twice for Sobe Rush's and stuff...Don't worry, everything will be fine. You two have so much love for each other, you will sustain, I know it. Kristy's doing what is best to furthur her career in the path that she is trying to go down.

And two thumbs up on the "lift weights when you miss her" thing...pass that one on to Matt, hehe

It's not that bad really...His last class is Thursday and he's coming home after that...It's going to be just like we were in high school...we went to two different schools and only got to see each other on the weekends or every other week...The hard time is when I go to Cali...it's not going to be so bad for a while...

I was referring to the conversation in the College thread. I didn't want any of that in here.

I do appreciate the sentiment, however.

Also, I do plan to do a lot of working out. I have always wanted a weight room near where I live, because I don't mind working out. I just didn't feel like driving across town for it. Also, I *almost* enjoyed lifting weights at school. It would have been fine if it weren't for the damned coaches. STFU already!.

Anyhow, I feel a little better today. It's still sad, and this doesn't feel like home one bit yet. I'll just have to hope that I grow into it. I'm sure I will... There are millions of people that go off to college each year, and I'm not any different than.... at least a few of them.

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

Edited by Jamesadin;

None of that here...actually, Im not allowed to do this... but none of this crap, D3V.

Hey Bob , look at it this way....You can STILL talk to her hereon zelaron!!!! =D

we all, are happy you feel better :-)

and yes my idea is the beeeeeeeeeest :-P

I suppose you've had to move away from your hometown, your home of 13 years, your family, all but one of your friends, and your girlfriend before huh?

Oh wait, you're only 15. You haven't done any of that before.

Hell Bob, his balls haven't even dropped.


Good luck to your new school life, and with the longer distance thing with Jinx.

.....ouch

Ok...I really don't have a problem w/ it for all of you who make it seem like I do...(I'm not trying to sound upset or anything I'm just trying to clear this up) I'm really sad...it kinda hit me at work that I can't just call him and ask what he's doing and if he wanted to come over and play pac-man, but it's going to be the same...I'm totally ok w/ it...but I am sad...

pac-man????? are you serious os is there an irony in that post