Big Box, Little Box, Cardboard Box!
 

Boxes. Not the fellas in tight pants who smack the living daylight out of each other, that's boxers. Nor underpants with upper thigh warmers, which are also boxers, strangely enough. I'm not even on about a large group of evergreen trees with shiny leaves.


Mortal enemy of the blister pack, and the harder, big brother of the sissy envelope. He ain't heavy, he's my box.

Boxes.

It's what technology comes in, in'nit. Those new-fangled Ebook Readers come in boxes. Mice come in boxes. Videogame consoles come in boxes. USB pens come encased in plastic, so I won't talk about them, but most other PC components come in boxes.

Talking about PC components, this weekend I've splashed out about £1900 of my parents money on components for my new computer, which will be built on Saturday 23rd (don't worry, I'll pay them back... eventually). :D My parents have also ordered me seven toner cartridges for my printer as a "Well done!" for getting into Uni (I wonder if congratulatory gifts come with every good thing in life? First girlfriend; "Superb! Here, have a new mobile phone!". First kiss; "Fantastic! Here, have some new headphones!". First teenage pregnancy; "Awesome! Have this box to put your clothes in and move out RIGHT THIS INSTANT, you promiscuous son of ours, you."), with which comes a free box containing a camera.

Talking about PC components, toners and cameras, they all come in boxes, which brings me neatly back to my original statement:


I've already got a number of boxes from various orders of books and... more orders of books tucked down the side of my desk. The desk started life in a box (which is now behind my bookcase) before being assembled and placed flush against two walls in the corner of my room. These days it's moved an inch to the right from all the boxes tucked next to it. Big boxes, little boxes: cardboard boxes. I've also got about nine boxes perched on the end of my wardrobe containing smaller cardboard boxes which all come from my last computer build two years ago. Scattered about the room are even more cardboard boxes which must have migrated here from other rooms in the house. I'm only guessing, but it's backed up by sound reasoning - I haven't had a new pair of shoes for over a year, and yet my carpet has a layer of shoe boxes. Birkenstock? Sounds like it could have been a Monty Python sketch - they've done Twit of the Year, they've done the quaint little fellows with handkerchiefs on their heads, so why not a shop that sells berks, called "Berkinstock"?

Anyway, I digress. Boxes. I have a lot of boxes. I'm going to be getting some more boxes over this next week. Some of the boxes will be kept so I can transport things to and from University, but what will happen to the other boxes? I can't throw them out, can I? Sure, there are cases of transients and boxes living in perfect harmony on the streets of the towns and cities of our wonderful country, but who am I to condemn a box to a life of suffering in, say, Manchester? Recycling them is a sick idea - when relations pass away, do you go down to the local supermarket and stick them in a big, pink skip labelled "Human Remains" so that they can be used again? If there's one thing I know, and there are a lot of things I know, it is that I don't want the boxes who have served me so faithfully being merged with the boxes of other people, particularly not the boxes of the local locals. Ho no, not a chance! But do I seriously have the space and money to take them in and give them a good life until the day when they go mouldy and I have to act for the good of the clan, and burn them?

I don't know where I'm going with this. I didn't know where I was going to go with this when I started, so I'm going to cut it short with a question: WWFSMD?

Alternatively, I'd be happy to hear suggestions from the un-supernatural, such as yourselves. Were you to be faced with the prospect of taking in a dozen or so boxes of all shapes, sizes, colours and thicknesses (without even the incentive of a tax break from the government), what would you do?

EDIT: I wonder if Olympic medals are delivered to wherever they need to be in cardboard boxes and, if so, what happens to these carriers of symbols of greatness when their job is done.