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WARNING: Horrid conversation.
So, this is an excerpt from a particularly foul discussion a friend and I had over MSNIM a month or two ago. The names of the people mentioned have been changed, so as not to possibly anger anyone. Just to clarify, Joe is a friend of ours and Mike is his older brother. Enjoy!
------------------------------------------------------------- Raziel: All MMORPGs are crap. Case: Pretty much. Case: Galaxies might be cool. And Planetside looks cool, but it's a gigantic shooter, not an "RPG". Raziel: Galaxies will ONLY be cool because it's Star Wars. Case: Yes, if Galaxies wasn't Star Wars, it would eat retarded hippo ass. Raziel: Not just regular hippo ass either! Case: RETARDED hippo ass. Case: It's worse because they don't try and clean it. Raziel: ...like Joe's mom...? Raziel: ...I'm sorry. Raziel: I had to. Case: Eew..... Case: That's okay, Joe's mom might be nice, but she's still one of the most horrible creatures in the country. Raziel: I realized something today. Case: Eh? Raziel: I found out that you can stand in Joe's living room for less than five minutes, without actually TOUCHING ANYTHING...and come out stinking like vomitous ass. Case: Well, you touch the carpet and the air touches you. Case: That's well more than enough. Case: It hasn't gotten WORSE, has it?? Raziel: ... Raziel: ... Case: IT HAS?!? Case: That... Case: That's NOT POSSIBLE! Raziel: ... Case: IT CANNOT BE! Raziel: Here's the "paradoxical situation" Raziel: The house is actually CLEANER than it's been in a while, but the smell has escalated to a freakish degree. Raziel: I think it's like the rainforests. We cut them down and by doing so we release all kinds of awful diseases that were once contained by the thick foliage. Case: Oh eew. Raziel: All the clutter was actually holding the stink back. Case: I think that entire house needs to be quarantined and moved to Yucca Mountain. Raziel: Or shot into the sun... Case: But the chances are that would cause some horrible chain reaction that would cause the sun to go super nova or something. Case: I don't think filth like that can ever truly be destroyed. Case: Just buried very, VERY deep Case: Or shunted into another dimension or something. Case: Maybe there's some horrible alternate reality where stuff like that is normal. Raziel: Maybe we could just fire it AWAY from the sun and send it flying to another planet? Make it their problem instead of ours? Case: That's always possible too. Case: As long as it isn't in this solar system, it won't be a problem for a long time. Raziel: Wait...what if it starts an intergalactic conflict? Case: Oh crap....good point. Raziel: What if the other planet attacks us in retribution? Case: That's probably the cosmic equivalent to biological warfare. Case: Saddam has smallpox, we've got Joe's house. Case: Arson might always be an option. Case: But then they would get another house and after a few weeks, it would be just as bad, if not worse. Raziel: I just had an awful epiphany. Case: Eh? Raziel: What happens when Joe and Mike SPAWN? Raziel: They will create more houses of horror! Case: Well...Joe isn't that bad, because he doesn't smoke. Case: Sure, it would be filthy, but it was just be cluttered as hell and wouldn't stink THAT bad. Raziel: And he doesn't really have sex anymore. Case: That was my second point. Case: We certainly don't have to worry about him spawning for a while. Case: What about Mike? Raziel: Julie... Case: Is he still banging...*shudder*...Julie? Raziel: Yeah. Case: Oh, dear god. Case: In the name of all things good and holy. Case: I'm not sure I know words to describe what that is. Raziel: I do! It's like a gorilla that smokes fucking a ten year old boy that smokes! Case: I don't think a language exists that can accurately describe the TRUE horror of that. Case: But that's a pretty good start. Case: God, that's fucking gross. Case: I didn't think anyone could EVER be that desperate. Case: Even Joe thinks she's frakky. Raziel: Joe's standards are slightly too high for his current situation. Case: But, as evidence with Mike, too high is much better than too low. Raziel: Good point. Case: I would prefer him to be sexually frustrated and whiny rather than him banging something like Julie. Raziel: Banging and BRAGGING. Raziel: Hahaha!! Case: NO! Case: Mike does NOT! Raziel: No, he doesn't. Case: Okay, good. Raziel: I juast wanted to see your reaction. Case: That would just be the end. Case: I would have to kill him. Case: And I'm not kidding. Case: I would burn him alive. Case: In a giant wicker man. Raziel: "Dude, we humped for like five hours and then we ate a bunch of cigarette butts." Raziel: "It ruled." Case: LOL!!!!! Case: Ate cigarette butts!! HAHAHA!!!! Case: That's fucking genius. Raziel: So God damned disgusting. Chunky-style Mike and zero-calorie Julie porking each other... Raziel: Uggh... sweat running through his flab folds... Raziel: GRAY sweat, tainted from the tobacco smoke... Case: The sound of her ribs straining, like an insufficient load bearing beam. Raziel: Jesus...I almost typed something far too foul to be uttered. Case: What? Case: You'll have to write it now that you said that. Raziel: His tannish/grayish duck butter running down his ass crack all over her wrinkly snatch. Case: Uggh..... Case: Tannish.....*shudder* Raziel: Christ, we need to stop this. Case: No kidding. Case: I'm losing points off my Sanity score for every second we keep this up. Raziel: I need to finish off a Chattur'Gha Zombie and get a few points back. |
It started out interesting and got gross and now I want to kill you and your friend.
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1.) I don't think I've EVER held a conversation on a computer for that long with someone.
2.) Why on God's name would you want to post such horrible descriptive statements? 3.) I actually thought it was going to be the other way around with Mike and Julie, Mike skinny, and Julie fat... 4.) You're weird for thinking that cosmic shit. |
-_-;
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Who's hungry? :(
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for what?
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Quote:
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