funny bushisms
 

"I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself,
but for predecessors as well."
—Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2001

"Then I went for a run with the other dog and just walked. And I started thinking about a lot of things. I was able to—I can't remember what it was. Oh, the inaugural speech, started thinking through that."
—Pre-inaugural interview with U.S. News & World Report, Jan. 22, 2001 issue

"I'm hopeful. I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously. But I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success as opposed to failure."
—Interview with the Associated Press, Jan. 18, 2001

"The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants."
—Interview with the New York Times, Jan. 14, 2001

"I want it to be said that the Bush administration was a results-oriented administration, because I believe the results of focusing our attention and energy on teaching children to read and having an education system that's responsive to the child and to the parents, as opposed to mired in a system that refuses to change, will make America what we want it to be—a literate country and a hopefuller country."
—Washington, D.C., Jan. 11, 2001

"I would have to ask the questioner. I haven't had a chance to ask the questioners the question they've been questioning.
—Austin, Texas, Jan. 8, 2001

"Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods."
—Austin, Texas, Dec. 20, 2000

"I am mindful of the difference between the executive branch and the legislative branch. I assured all four of these leaders that I know the difference, and that difference is they pass the laws and I execute them."
—Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2000

"The legislature's job is to write law. It's the executive branch's job to interpret law."
—Austin, Texas, Nov. 22, 2000

"They misunderestimated me."
—Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

"The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the — the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice."
— George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Oct. 27, 2003

"[W]hether they be Christian, Jew, or Muslim, or Hindu, people have heard the universal call to love a neighbor just like they'd like to be called themselves."
— George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., October 8, 2003

"Washington is a town where there's all kinds of allegations. You've heard much of the allegations. And if people have got solid information, please come forward with it. And that would be people inside the information who are the so-called anonymous sources, or people outside the information — outside the administration."
— George W. Bush, Chicago, Sept. 30, 2003

"[W]e've had leaks out of the administrative branch, had leaks out of the legislative branch, and out of the executive branch and the legislative branch, and I've spoken out consistently against them, and I want to know who the leakers are."
— George W. Bush, Chicago, Sept. 30, 2003

"We had a chance to visit with Teresa Nelson who's a parent, and a mom or a dad."
— George W. Bush, Jacksonville, Florida, Sept. 9, 2003

"Our country puts $1 billion a year up to help feed the hungry. And we're by far the most generous nation in the world when it comes to that, and I'm proud to report that. This isn't a contest of who's the most generous. I'm just telling you as an aside. We're generous. We shouldn't be bragging about it. But we are. We're very generous."
— George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 16, 2003

"My answer is bring them on."
—On Iraqi militants attacking U.S. forces, George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 3, 2003

"I recently met with the finance minister of the Palestinian Authority, was very impressed by his grasp of finances."
—George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 29, 2003

"First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill."
—George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 19, 2003

"I think war is a dangerous place."
—George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 7, 2003

"You're free. And freedom is beautiful. And, you know, it'll take time to restore chaos and order — order out of chaos. But we will."
—George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 13, 2003

"Now, we talked to Joan Hanover. She and her husband, George, were visiting with us. They are near retirement — retiring — in the process of retiring, meaning they're very smart, active, capable people who are retirement age and are retiring."
—George W. Bush, Alexandria, Va., Feb. 12, 2003

"I think the American people — I hope the American — I don't think, let me — I hope the American people trust me."
— George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2002

"These people don't have tanks. They don't have ships. They hide in caves. They send suiciders out."
—George W. Bush, speaking about terrorists, Portsmouth, N.H., Nov. 1, 2002

"I need to be able to move the right people to the right place at the right time to protect you, and I'm not going to accept a lousy bill out of the United Nations Senate."
—George W. Bush, South Bend, Ind., Oct. 31, 2002

"John Thune has got a common-sense vision for good forest policy. I look forward to working with him in the United Nations Senate to preserve these national heritages."
— George W. Bush, Aberdeen, S.D., Oct. 31, 2002

"Any time we've got any kind of inkling that somebody is thinking about doing something to an American and something to our homeland, you've just got to know we're moving on it, to protect the United Nations Constitution, and at the same time, we're protecting you."
—George W. Bush, Aberdeen, S.D., Oct. 31, 2002

"I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose: you disarm, or we will."
—George W. Bush, speaking about Saddam Hussein, Manchester, N.H., Oct. 5, 2002

"Let me tell you my thoughts about tax relief. When your economy is kind of ooching along, it's important to let people have more of their own money."
—George W. Bush, Boston, Oct. 4, 2002

"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."
—George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

"I'm thrilled to be here in the bread basket of America because it gives me a chance to remind our fellow citizens that we have an advantage here in America — we can feed ourselves."
—George W. Bush, Stockton, Calif., Aug. 23, 2002

"The trial lawyers are very politically powerful. … But here in Texas we took them on and got some good medical — medical malpractice."
—George W. Bush, Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

"Do you have blacks, too?"
—George W. Bush, to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Nov. 8, 2001, as reported in an April 28, 2002, Estado Sao Pauloan column by Fernando Pedreira, a close friend of President Cardoso

"We're working with Chancellor Schröder on what's called 10-plus-10-over-10: $10 billion from the U.S.,$10 billion from other members of the G7 over a 10-year period, to help Russia securitize the dismantling — the dismantled nuclear warheads."
—George W. Bush, Berlin, Germany, May 23, 2002

"It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that chamber."
—George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 10, 2002

"And so, in my State of the — my State of the Union — or state — my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation — I asked Americans to give 4,000 years — 4,000 hours over the next — the rest of your life — of service to America. That's what I asked — 4,000 hours."
—George W. Bush, Bridgeport, Conn., April 9, 2002

"We've got pockets of persistent poverty in our society, which I refuse to declare defeat — I mean, I refuse to allow them to continue on. And so one of the things that we're trying to do is to encourage a faith-based initiative to spread its wings all across America, to be able to capture this great compassionate spirit."
—George W. Bush, O'Fallon, Mo., Mar. 18, 2002

"There's nothing more deep than recognizing Israel's right to exist. That's the most deep thought of all. ... I can't think of anything more deep than that right."
—George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002

"My trip to Asia begins here in Japan for an important reason. It begins here because for a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times. From that alliance has come an era of peace in the Pacific."
—George W. Bush, who apparently forgot about a little something called World War II, Tokyo, Feb. 18, 2002

"He [Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi] said I want to make it very clear to you exactly what I intend to do and he talked about non-performing loans, the devaluation issue and regulatory reform and he placed equal emphasis on all three."
—George W. Bush, who had meant to say "the deflation issue" rather than "the devaluation issue," and accidentally sent the Japanese Yen tumbling, Tokyo, Feb. 18, 2002

"I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001

"The folks who conducted to act on our country on September 11th made a big mistake. They underestimated America. They underestimated our resolve, our determination, our love for freedom. They misunderestimated the fact that we love a neighbor in need. They misunderestimated the compassion of our country. I think they misunderestimated the will and determination of the Commander-in-Chief, too."
—George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 26, 2001

"The suicide bombings have increased. There's too many of them." —George W. Bush, Albuquerque, N.M., Aug. 15, 2001

"My administration has been calling upon all the leaders in the — in the Middle East to do everything they can to stop the violence, to tell the different parties involved that peace will never happen."
--George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, Aug, 13, 2001

"A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it."
—George W. Bush, July 27, 2001

"It is white."
—George W. Bush, asked by a child in Britain what the White House was like, July 19, 2001

"Well, it's an unimaginable honor to be the president during the Fourth of July of this country. It means what these words say, for starters. The great inalienable rights of our country. We're blessed with such values in America. And I — it's — I'm a proud man to be the nation based upon such wonderful values."
—George W. Bush, visiting the Jefferson Memorial, Washington, D.C., July 2, 2001

"We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease."
—George W. Bush, at a news conference in Europe, June 14, 2001

"For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it."
—George W. Bush, May 14

"This administration is doing everything we can to end the stalemate in an efficient way. We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end."
—George W. Bush, April 10, 2001

"I've coined new words, like, misunderstanding and Hispanically."
—George W. Bush, speaking at the Radio & Television Correspondents dinner, March 29, 2001

"I suspect that had my dad not been president, he'd be asking the same questions: How'd your meeting go with so-and-so? … How did you feel when you stood up in front of the people for the State of the Union Address—state of the budget address, whatever you call it."
—George W. Bush, in an interview with the Washington Post, March 9, 2001

"My pan plays down an unprecedented amount of our national debt."
—George W. Bush, in his budget address to Congress, Feb. 27, 2001

"[T]hat's just the nature of democracy. Sometimes pure politics enters into the rhetoric."
— George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, Aug. 8, 2003

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Thanks alot for those mjordan, and all of those explain why we shouldn't have that nitwitted redneck republican in office.

Not funny, just scary, because he's not lying. I mean damn how much oil does his dad's company have now?

There you have it folks, a thinking man's president.

It's the president comedians have always dreamed for.

And we all know who the governor is.