4 words you never want to hear.
 

No, it's not "I think i'm pregnant".. or "I have a disease".. or anything of that nature.

If you truely care about someone, like I do it's rough to hear, even though they might not even be sure what the deal is.

"I'm having second thoughts".. with full context "I think im havin second thoughts of us.. idk.. I may just be having a down moment.. I think i'm bipolar".

My current.. girlfriend just sent me this via text, and i'm in the shitter of even how to respond. I told her well, that really sucks since I really do care for her, I know she has been telling me about her bad day, all day. There really hasn't been anything bad happened to us yet, we've already done the nasty, i've done tons of little things to show her I care for her, and we go out last night to hang out with some of "her friends".. which could be what the deal is.

I guess, I'm just out in the open on this one, and it throws me off. I usually am dead-on about people's situations, including my own, but this has really thrown me through a ringer.

I just responded to her that I guess maybe I had been coming on strong considering I just got out of a long relationship, and I just am looking for somebody to dump my whole heart into, and just maybe want more out of her.. and no reply.

Ugh, I guess a good weekend just got a little shittier, :-\

D3V, I feel for you man. In those types of situations, you basically can't do anything to make it progress in your favor. It's just a quagmire/stalemate that is going to turn into a loss.

That sucks dude. If I had any advice to give, I'd just have to say don't do/say anything to make it worse. Good luck in your rough patch, hopefully tomorrow will bring a better day.

first, next, and lastly let me tell you this. never give a woman any chance to think you are using her.

you should have asked her why, after that asked if there were things we could talk about perhaps things we can do together. If she still throws you the cold shoulder, then send it right back at her. if at this point she still doesnt give enough shits about talking with someone she is with then fck it.

I know whats its like trust me, life goes up and down - but when communication stops, the relationship is soon to follow. If she wont talk to you after you have tried in a more intelligent manner (see quote). Then i say give her, her space and let things boil down.

Man thats one of the worst things that could happen on the shitter.

Thanks fellas..

Well, nothing really updated yet, we're still texting, she says she's just not sure. And she was like this in the begenning as well.

There is no way that she should think I am using her, considering I told her we should try and develop our relationship more before we do anything, which we did wait a little while, but it finally caved in.

She did just text me though "I dont think I stand in the same place as you..." which I guess is the killer :-\

I'm just going to keep talking with her, maybe communcating like this will help. I need to write my story in about my ex girlfriend, and the rest of this story will make more sense.

your absolute best bet is keep her talking probably - but when she says shes done talking you kinda gotta bite your upper and lower lip and resist texting or calling her.

jamer, write us a hack for females please!

Well she isn't at that point, she just said in the begenning that she thinks she's having second thoughts about "us" and I guess now that she doesn't think she's on the same page as me. I basically told her that I still like her a bunch, and would be willing to work on things if she was up for it.. I mean, other than that there really isn't anything in my power to do, the ball is in her court.

the ball never left her court ;) "how women work" - by kazilla

Yeah there is a force feild forcing the ball the stay in the womens court. Good Luck D3V.

Thanks again buddies. I guess, the shittiest part about this whole situation is that it's coming through text messages. She is now though, talking a lot more, I guess apparently we both thought very differently of each other, this is nice though because atleast now I don't feel like I have to hold back anymore, or any feelings can be thrown out there because at this point really my side doesn't seem to be swayed any.. towards her atleast.

Hmph. Life really can suck somtimes, it's sucks the most when you figure you have everything figured out.

well i agree that texting can sometimes be easier to talk about your feelings, cause you're not being so vulnerable as you would be looking into someone's eyes and talking about something serious like that, i just don't understand how you two could be on totally different pages, she should've said something before, not just 'uh yeah i dont know if this is gonna work'. if she keeps going back and forth between feelings for you, then you just need to make your feelings clear and known to her, and the rest is up to her, because she has to decide if she's ready for the kind of relationship you want. or you may be overcompensating for your last gf or something, you could be coming on strong but you can't know that unless she says something. you can't expect to have a good relationship with someone if you both don't communicate feelings and thoughts and if you keep each other in the dark all the time. i know what this is like, trust me, it does not make good for a relationship.

The fact that she's texting you and not being up front about this whole situation tells me she doesn't want to put forth the effort for this relationship. If my girlfriend started texting saying she had doubts about us, I'd ask her to talk about this in person. Obviously, this is a big deal for you two and if she doesn't want to actually communicate about it with you and just send bullshit texts, she's not worth your while.

IMO, if she really cared for you she wouldn't be bullshitting with text messages.

That's how I figured it too, so I was like well I wanna talk about it in person, and she agreed to it but we still haven't talked in person since then. I guess we're just finished, it's mututal now. We've talked over the holiday as friends I guess.. and she still wants to hang out. It's like WTF?.. Maybe if I play my cards right I can get a fuckbuddy.

... thats lovely, d3v, really. very touching. why cant you boys just settle down.

I would love to settle down and find me a good girl, which by all accounts.. is fucking impossible.

... no it isnt, ask kaz :P

It really is. And when you do get one, you try to change and do everything for them, and they get tired of it, and lose interest. Maybe we need to find us some cougars or something, Women that know what they want..

A lot of girls our age aren't looking to settle down, bro. That's just the facts.

cougars is not the answer. us young girls do not need old bitches stealing all the young guys from us. jesus. i hate stupid cougars. they need to find men their own age and act their own god damn age, stupid old women looking for young guys to make them feel younger. the fact is that you get old and thats how you should act. god!

You have Kazilla so who cares? :p.

Lol! Well it sucks being 21 when you just want somebody you can trust and call your own, even if you aren't having kids and moving away together to start a life...

Well, I guess good news from a "guys" perspective. She is still talking to me, sent me a picture today of her while she was at work, and told me she hopes I feel better...

Lol, she then tells me tonight, about 10 minutes ago that she's 'frustrated'. I'm like well with what you know... and it was followed up with a "haha oh,... nothing".

Yeah, so I throw in "Well, Im not exactly sure of the rules we have as "just friends" but i'm sure I can help out with that".. Lol, wow well lost a possible love but might gain a fuckbuddy? Shit.

Also, I messaged my First ex spilling my guts to her over a course of about 30 minutes last night too.. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me.

im sayin if i didnt :P

STOP IT YOU BUFFOON. You need to get over this chick and stop spazzing out about her. Maybe your current interest isn't sure about you guys because she thinks you still have feelings for your ex? Girls are intuitive, man, hide your emotions about your ex around your current chick! Don't even bring her up in ANY conversation.. not once.

And I'm 100% with you on the older females idea. I'm lookin for one right now, I think I may have found somebody at work here actually. I hate young, dumb bitches. I want somebody I can have an intellectual conversation with.

wow... and you dont think you're a young dumb guy? that is a serious insult for the girls that want to be taken seriously by guys when all the guys want is a stupid fuckbuddy.

I don't want a "stupid fuckbuddy." I've said previously that I would like to find a good girl that I can make my long-term girlfriend.. the problem is finding one. Older females (23 - 27) are more likely to fit in that category of a "good girl" - younger girls.. not so much.

well then i guess i would fit in your category of stupid young girls that arent worth having a relationship with, not that im a fucking party girl or something that gets wasted every night and has one night stands or anything.

Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks
Lick on deez nutz and suck the dick
Get's the fuck out after you're done
And I hops in my ride to make a quick run...

Are you implying Thanatos' perfect girl is Kazilla? I don't see how this helps D3v at all.

... maybe KJ, but not D3v.

lol i know you're joking cause its impossible to misinterpret what i was saying.

just fyi i was saying that its not impossible to find a good girl because i am one :) and kaz found me

The problem is that I never did bring up my ex. At all. I was completely over her, just my currently girl and I breaking up just caused me to recede a bit. I quite honestly think she has feelings for her ex still, which she has brought up numerous times, which sucked and I didn't want to hear about it made me iffy to hear her say that at all.

But she hides it very well saying that you know, she doesn't think she could see us being serious blah, blah. Oh well man, life goes on.

And yes, a more mature older female that doesn't want to play games would be wonderful right about now. I'm tired of the nonsense, I just want somebody that actually knows what they want, and not what they think they want. I've been looking in the wrong places for so long, lol.

These are the only girls I've come in contact with the past 5 or so months since me and my last girlfriend split. Fuckin' tired of it, which is why I want an older, more mature female.

well maybe you aren't looking in the right places. try a library :P

Tried it. Libraries don't work.


Moving on to the coffee shop scene.

Good idea, we have a Java Hut around here where some more classy women like to hang out...

Well.. I got some upsetting news last night. . . .


The most recent EX, We'll just call her 'M' texted me last night at like 12:20 or so, and it said: "Hey, I know this will seem like a random question, but when was the last time we 'fucked'".

Right then, the instant I read it I knew something was up.. Anyways.

I tell her it was probably like 3-4 weeks or so; and that it's been a while.

She says, "Well, I missed my period".








...ouch; I was not expecting that to say the least.

I ask her, well 'Are you sure you missed it? Do you want to go get tested?" Things of that nature. She tells me that she was going to get tested either today or sometime next week. While this is going on, my buddies are all drinking and I'm in another world, it's like my current one just started to fall apart, and I started to get worried about a million different things at once. After she tells me that she is going to get tested, I ask her if she would like me to come with her:


She bluntly replies: ... No


That kinda threw me off. So I then ask her, "Well... What if somehow it does come up positive....... what are you wanting to do?"



...She then puts back "I sure as fuck ain havin it" ...


Just like that. That totally blew my mind. To think, abortion is now something that could directly effect my life. I went from an almost high of well I'm going to make the best of whatever happens to.. well, I have no say in it and I am helpless to anything that goes on from this point forward. I ... told her that I didn't know what to say, which still is the truth. I haven't heard from her all day. I'm just, frustrated at myself I suppose. I know that I didn't slip up. She did tell me she's had sex with one other guy since we split, which shows her true colors I suppose.

Basically where I'm getting at is, do you think she is trying to play games with me? Or she blatently just doesn't care, and was just telling me.

I don't even know what to think. I'm going to bed.

4 bad words.... "gunna have to amputate"

Well she sounds like a hoe if she was sleeping with another guy around the same time as you. Which means if she did "miss" her period (which can also happen if she is stressed or something) it could be this other guy's fault, but she wouldn't know unless she got a paternity test.

If she turns out to be pregnant and it's yours, are you even sure you're ready for that? And with someone like HER? In any case, it is her choice because she is the one that's gonna be pregnant and it's her body, so if she wants an abortion, why are you so upset? It kinda lets you off the hook. Why would you want to have a kid right now anyways? Don't you want it to be with someone special and that you're actually gonna be with when you have a kid and not some ex-girlfriend that doesn't want you involved?

4 bad words are can i bottow this- i want this badly

This.