hahaha..
 

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

Hahahaha yah I've heard that one before. A classic.

A guy comes home from work early to find his wife in bed with another man. Enraged, the husband drags the other man into the garage and tightens the man's dick in his vice. The husband then pulls out a saw. The other man freaks out "Are you going to saw off my dicks?!?" "No." Replies the husband. "You are. I'm going to burn down the garage"

What kind of secret does that guy have?

Surgery???

Anyone else envision a black man when thinking about "an escaped convict"?

Yep :-\

And a gay black man....only makes sense...


Federal Pound Me in the Ass Prison (Thanks Office Space)

omg. rofley

I love your new avatar.

Fanatastic film.

Yea I need to find my copy of it, dunno where it went.

Anyone remember this?

Wow those stories both cracked me up.

New to me, good joke!

Got a chuckle out of me.

Ripping good laugh!

Very funny, both of them. More please!!!

I heard that a while ago but it is still funny.

How do you make a 12 year old girl cry twice?



Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

I always said it with boy and 5 year old...

what a fag

What pink and red and sits in the corner screaming?

A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

When does a 9 year old boy look like a 12 year old girl?

In the shower.

whats the best part about fucking twenty-five year olds?



there's twenty of them!

How doyou get 100 babies into a phone booth?

A woodchipper.



How do you get those same 100 babies out of the phone booth?

Tostitos!

SICK

YOU SICK SICK FUCK



..it was still funny though

lol i laughed to ^^.

I didn't :(

Yea, baby jokes never seemed funny to me.

Well...

Whats black and blue and hates sex with a passion?


A rape victim.
----

What has 9 arms and can't keep a beat?


Def Leppard
----

I know a joke about Terry Fox, but I think it may be inappropriate. I will only tell it if people want me too.

Do tell.

I think we are old enough. Gogo!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?


Rape.

hm

going to jail? eating shit? theres NUMBERS of things worse than that.....

The answer is there. Highlight it.

Such a noob slaynish.


It was the water pitcher w/ the glock in the kitchen. I SOLVE FTW.

Aight...

How do you kill a fox?



Make it run across Canada.

some of you are sick sick people. I recommend that you all see somebody ASAP. But i will say that i laughed at a few. More then anything, i laughed at Soverereign's pic of mario fucking the princess, NOW thats funny

I need some 1ups.