Best Quotes from...Anything
 

Family Guy:

Dennis Miller: I don't want to go on a rant, here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowulf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first battle of Antietam. I mean when a neo-conservative defenestrates it's like Raskolnikov filibuster deoxymonohydroxinate...

[Peter is watching this on TV]

Peter Griffin: What the hell does rant mean?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Winston Churchill said this while talking to Lady Nancy Astor:

Lady Nancy Astor: If I were your wife I’d put poison in your coffee.
Winston Churchill: If I were your husband I’d drink it.

w00t.

lol yes I've heard the second one and I've seen the first one on tv.

"Everyone agrees that ideas are far more dangerous than guns. We don't let our people have guns so why should we let them have ideas?" -Joseph Stalin

All I can think of right now

"Imagination is more important than knowledge"

-Mr. Albert Einstein...

"Try not! No, there is no try! You will do!"

-Yoda

"Hey farva! what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzerella sticks?"

This was the President's answer to the following question;

Most school kids learn about government in the context of city, county, state and federal, and of course, tribal governments are not part of that at all. Mr. President, you have been a governor and a president, so you have unique experience looking at it from two directions. What do you think tribal sovereignty means in the 21st century and how do we resolve conflicts between tribes and the federal and state governments?

Watch Here - http://www.ifilm.com/viralvideo?ifilmid=2646755

Family Guy quotes ahead

Peter: I read it in a book or something
Brian: Are you SURE it was a book? Are you SURE it wasn't...NOTHING?
Peter: ..Oh..yea..
--------------------
Whn stewie and brian travel and stole a car
Stewie: Oh you have agood record now, Public Drunkeness, stealing a car...
Brian: Don't forget smashing your face against the car window..
Stewie: I dont remember..(brian stops and stewie flies forward hitting the window)...well I guess I walked right into that one.

From Futurama:

Zap Brannigan: Once the mother ship is down, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

Same episode of Family Guy.

Brian is at a bar talking to a chick.

Biran: You could be in magazines. And not just 'Juggs' or 'Creamsicle' (spills drink at this point.) Chick leaves.
Brian: Call me!
Brian to the bartender: She won't call....

Family Guy

Pool Attendent to Peter: Sir, could you please move your van off the diving board?
Peter: That's not a van! That's my son!
Pool Attendent(yelling): Oh hey Tom! It's not a van, it's just a fat kid!

Hahahahaha! Splended.

Noobs
my quotes>your quotes..

Wanker22287: omg
Wanker22287:
Wanker22287:
Wanker22287:
PimpinestJuice69: ??
PimpinestJuice69: shwat?
PimpinestJuice69: cry?>
PimpinestJuice69: why?
PimpinestJuice69: i deed not mean fatman i meen batman!!!!
Wanker22287: you call me fat rofley!

"I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone. My wish has come true. I no longer know how to use my telephone."

Nah, that's not a good quote. It looks like two disturbed boys who are unsure about their sexuality.

In 1989, the United States, which was displeased with the policies of the
dictator of Panama, invaded that country and placed in power a government
more to its liking.

In 1990, Iraq, which was displeased with the policies of the dictator of
Kuwait, invaded that country and placed in power a government more to its
liking.

-Slackware 9.1 (My OS)

Say allo to my lil friend
-Al pacino, Scarface

"Never shall innocent blood be shed yet the blood of the wicked shall flow like a river. The three shall spread their blackened wings and be the vengeance strike and hammer from God."

"My software never has bugs. It just develops random features"

"Perfection is achieved not when you have nothing more to add, but when you have nothing left to take away."

"Daddy, daddy! They killed Morechai, the dancing yiddish clown!" "Stop crying! You're supposed to be a man today, so act like one!"

Why does everyone fuck up quotes by Yoda?

"Do or do not. There is no try."

Shenanigans?

"no matter how far a jackass travels it will never return a horse" batou

"only to things can survive a nuclear war cockroaches and twinkies" peter
same episode
"with out guns who would our forefathers solved there problems" peter

Bad Dudes

http://www.iownjoo.com/freeimghost/W...k/BadDudes.gif


Battle Rangers

http://www.iownjoo.com/freeimghost/W...k/Hahahaha.jpg


Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga

http://chaoscontrol.spymac.net/fawful/fawful04.BMP.jpg
http://chaoscontrol.spymac.net/fawful/fawful05.BMP.jpg


Final Fantasy 4

http://www.iownjoo.com/freeimghost/W...ony%20Bard.jpg

I had a bard on Everquest II named Spoony for a while.

On that line: http://zanyvg.overclocked.org/

http://theindexpage.tripod.com/awinner.gif

http://www.tbhccs.com/mother/zw09.gif

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
- Dean Martin


Also, another Winston Churchill one:
"Sir, you are drunk."
- Lady Astor to Winston Churchill.

"Yes, and you, madam, are ugly, but in the morning I shall be sober."
- Winston Churchill's reply


And finally: They only call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.

-Richard Dawkins

Bending over wasn't a problem for me.

-Francois Rabelais

-Confucius

From The Big Lebowski:

Blond Treehorn Thug: [holding up a bowling ball] What the fuck is this?
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.


Walter Sobchak: Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

Wow, I had forgotten about this thread. Good find!

Just look at my sig!

"Dude, dolphins are intelligent and friendly!" -- Wendy
"Intelligent and friendly on rye bread, with some mayonaise." -- Cartman

"Why does this happen every month? It seems like right about the same time every month, Kyle's mom gets a hair up her ass about something, and I always end up getting screwed by it." -- Cartman

"Too bad drinking scotch isn't a paying job or Kenny's dad would be a millionare!" -- Cartman

"Anyway Kenny, Yellow MegaMan is only $8.95, so maybe your mom can put it on layaway and make payments for a year or two." -- Cartman

"Well I looked in my moms closet and saw what I was getting for Christmas, an ultravibe pleasure 2000." -- Cartman

"ENOUGH!! Oh, Haa-ha. Anyway, if you'll come with me in my car, I'll take you up to my condo where I'll kill you - I I mean-uh, uh give you - moneyy - for the triangle." -- Barbra Streisand
"Sweet! I'm gonna be rich. Bet you wish you hadn't given me that triangle back now, huh, Kyle? Dumb@ss! [heads for the car]" -- Cartman
"Wait. Isn't there some rule about not getting into cars with strangers?" -- Kyle
"No, not when money is involved, stupid! [The kids climb into her car and Barbra revs it up]" -- Cartman

This one is from the South Park Episode "The Biggest Douche in the Universe." (One of my personal favorites) At the beginning, its hard to hear but if you catch it, it's bound to make you laugh:

(Right after Cartman is rushed into the hospital room)

Dr.Doctor -- "Get me 50 cc's of ketamine, STAT. And get something for the kid, too."