Spiders are still worse, eh Bobbay?

They were just defending their territory! What if that bee had a family?

No, because spiders can't chase you. Fuck bees!

Actually spiders CAN chase you, they're just easier to kill because they can't fly away from a foot smashing them.

Well, maybe certain breeds of scary ass tropical jumping spiders, but there's no way a tarantula could keep up with me if I decided to bolt. Bees will chase your ass, and they can keep up.

Jumping spiders piss me off. I had one crawling around on my ceiling last night and I decided to start spraying it with cologne to see what it would do. After the first squirt the thing jumped and landed right on my face, that sucked quite a bit. But anyway, my uncle is allergic to bees as well, I think his throat starts swelling up when he gets stung.

You sprayed a spider with cologne? Were you planning on taking it out to dinner and couldn't bear to walk into a fancy restaurant if your company stank of fly carcass? That's what I have to do to my younger brother sometimes. I tell him "look, we can't walk into Dairy Queen with you dressed in shortpants and stinking of baby-flesh. You march right into your room and change into that leotard, or so help me God, I'll scoop your eyes out with a salad tong. Not both tongs, just one. The one that looks like a big fork."

He usually complies after the tong threat. He hates that big fork. It scares him like fire scares Frankenstein.

Goodness. What have you done to the poor child that involved "the big fork"?

Heh...I think the better question is "what haven't I done?"

I hate the insect species in general. One time when I was working out in my garage, a fucking nat or some bug, flyies right into me eye. I had to go into the mirror and try and wash it out but it broke into pieces, so I had to get tweezers and pull the pieces out without pooking myself in the eyeball.

How did you know my plans?!
Actually I didn't really want to kill the thing yet, just piss it off. Cologne has alcohol in it right? Alcohol generally pisses things off so I figured why the hell not? Obviously it worked because the thing jumped right onto my face.

Spiders are sneakier and more devious, though. They can be on you without you knowing until... IT'S TOO GODDAMN FUCKING LATE!!!!!

Yeah, but bees keep pulling that shit on me too. I've had two more nasty encounters with them over the last two days, so that's five times in five days. Yesterday I got in my car to go to breakfast again and there was one fucking waiting for me in the car.

By the way, after yesterday's encouter, I've come to realize that thse aren't bees that keep assaulting me. I hadn't previously taken the time to really examine the things considering that every time I see one, my perception is clouded with shock and hate. Yesterday, I got a good, close extended look at one, and it was far too big, far too long and far to heavily armored to be a bee. THEY'RE FUCKING WASPS!!!! I'm getting attacked by goddamned wasps!!

Heh. I actually had an encounter with a bee yesterday. I went to the backyard so I could go to the garage to get my dog some food, and waiting for me in my backyard was a bee. Now, at night, you'll occasionally see some, but this one was fucking aggressive. It followed me into the garage. Now, I'm scared of bugs as it is, so obviously I wasn't liking this. I armed myself with a shoe, waited for the fucking thing to calm down and set on a wall, and killed the beast, then let out a sigh of relief. I'm allergic to bees, and I've had bad experiences getting stung by them before