kyeruu
2010-04-22, 08:51 PM
for the first time in two years.........i felt....insecure.
I dont' know what to bring about this subject or how to develop it.
But, i've been feeling like..........nothing lately.
like, literally NOTHING.
No happiness, sadness, tears, anger. ETC ETC ETC
feels monotonous, i used to make abortion jokes in front of girls who had an accident in bed.
I used to look people arrogantly and make them feel stupidly inferior to me.
I used to do so much, lately i haven't been able to succeed.
It just feels like nothing. My self-esteem has dropped to an interesting level..................not melancholy.
Simply, inertia............
i actually cried, around 6 months ago, for a.......unknown reason.
my emotions became deadened after that. I dont' know why, nor do i seem to have the curiosity to find out.
I see people, i see them talk, worry about each other, do certain things and the such.
I see people smiling at me, others frowning, i see them falling in love, and getting constantly pushed into the "friend/gay zone" yet i manage to make contact with the opposite sex.
I seem to feel neutral, completely to the idea of love, friendship, etc.
I laugh out of habit, don't find anything funny. I literally stood on a hill, with an insane breeze/wind, blowing my face, and i just stared at the sky.
My mind was blank, i felt..........free........
so........nothing : |
I dont' know what to bring about this subject or how to develop it.
But, i've been feeling like..........nothing lately.
like, literally NOTHING.
No happiness, sadness, tears, anger. ETC ETC ETC
feels monotonous, i used to make abortion jokes in front of girls who had an accident in bed.
I used to look people arrogantly and make them feel stupidly inferior to me.
I used to do so much, lately i haven't been able to succeed.
It just feels like nothing. My self-esteem has dropped to an interesting level..................not melancholy.
Simply, inertia............
i actually cried, around 6 months ago, for a.......unknown reason.
my emotions became deadened after that. I dont' know why, nor do i seem to have the curiosity to find out.
I see people, i see them talk, worry about each other, do certain things and the such.
I see people smiling at me, others frowning, i see them falling in love, and getting constantly pushed into the "friend/gay zone" yet i manage to make contact with the opposite sex.
I seem to feel neutral, completely to the idea of love, friendship, etc.
I laugh out of habit, don't find anything funny. I literally stood on a hill, with an insane breeze/wind, blowing my face, and i just stared at the sky.
My mind was blank, i felt..........free........
so........nothing : |