Stinkfactor

[Strider Fury]

Cinnamon Challenge 2001

Contestant:
Erik Goodlad. Programmer. Confident individual. Winner of challenges. Not one to back down from a near impossible feat.
http://www.stinkfart.com/images/challenges/01_contestant.jpg

Challenge:
In one mouthful, consume a tablespoon of McCormick Brand Ground Cinnamon without spitting it out or vomitting. Mike presented the challenge, Erik accepted. Game on!
To give an idea of the amount of cinnamon, refer to the cinnamon chart below.
http://www.stinkfart.com/images/challenges/01_challenge.jpg

Results:
Erik measures out the right amount of fine cinnamon.

Things to notice:

-Notice our lovely hotel room paintings. Perfect backdrops for a Cinnamon Challenge
-Notice that we've turned the left hand scenic view into a hellish erupting volcano akin to the eruption of Mount Pinatubo (which is fitting for this event).
http://www.stinkfart.com/images/challenges/01_01.jpg

Erik presents the portion to the judges for approval.
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Erik points to the accuracy of his portion, and prepares to place the cinnamon in his mouth. "I'm going to eat this cinnamon.", he appears to be saying.
http://www.stinkfart.com/images/challenges/01_03.jpg

Exactly 1.754 seconds after placing the cinnamon in his mouth, Erik begins to violently spew cinnamon.

Things to notice:

-Notice the brown patch entering the trash can. This is a rapidly moving cloud of cinnamon (almost breaking the national speed limit).
-Notice how Erik is boldly trying to keep the cinnamon in his mouth with his right hand. In his moment of pressure, he might have forgotten that as soon as the cinnamon left his mouth, he lost the challenge.
UPDATE: According to conversations with Erik, this blast of cinnamon did not originate from his mouth. Instead, it originated from his two nostrils. Impressive! - Mike
-Notice that the camera man was in motion while taking this picture. The camera man (Joel) was hastily trying remove himself from the range of Erik.
http://www.stinkfart.com/images/challenges/01_04.jpg

Ten minutes later. More spewing. Notice increasing redness in face. Notice also the bathroom key affixed to the edge of the cubicle using Genuine Velcro, with miniature boxing glove key chain. This is to be used only in dire emergencies.
http://www.stinkfart.com/images/challenges/01_05.jpg

At this point, Erik's nose is beginning to bleed. He underestimated the power of McCormick's Brand Cinnamon. Cinnamon so strong it will make you bleed. Notice the absence of friends. Everyone who might otherwise be near Erik's cube is now afraid to be anywhere near the erupting volcano.
http://www.stinkfart.com/images/challenges/01_06.jpg

"The power of cinnamon is too great for me." Erik is now realizing that it wasn't a good idea to eat a tablespoon of cinnamon. The judges at this point are telling him to stop trying to be a hero and make use of the emergency flushing device (cup of water).
http://www.stinkfart.com/images/challenges/01_07.jpg

This is what came out of Erik (excluding Pepsi One can, granola bar wrappers, and other odds and ends). Notice that the tablespoon is in the trash. This was ejected along with the high force cinnamon blast as seen earlier.
http://www.stinkfart.com/images/challenges/01_08.jpg

Defeated, Erik removes the results of the Cinnamon Challenge from his territory. Erik was confident, and had courage, but failed the Cinnamon Challenge. Erik was a good sport, and he's a winner for even thinking of accepting this kind of challenge.
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[Strider Fury]

Climb the Tree for a Dollar

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First, a little bit of backstory:

At Price.com the group of developers used to have desks right next to a window that looked out on to a pedestrian traffic heavy street. Seeing so many people walk by all the time, we were bound to come up with some ideas, and the first of these ideas was to glue a quarter to the sidewalk to see who would try to pry it off.

This didn't work so well. Most people ignored the quarter; one guy poured his can of soda on the quarter to loosen the glue's grip, and when that didn't work, crushed the can, and, much like a cave man, used it as a primitive tool to successfully pry up the quarter. His economic skills, much like the caveman, obviously weren't that sharp. Watching a man waste a $0.50 soda to get a quarter was worth a chuckle, but it wasn't as much entertainment as we hoped for.

Presuming that the quarter wasn't getting much play because of its low value, we decided that greater rewards were required for our sidewalk victims. The next logical step was obvious: place a dollar bill in the tree that overhung the sidewalk directly in front of our window. Watch someone try to get it down.

This new initiative required that someone place the dollar bill in the tree. We sent Bob up the tree for a couple of reasons:

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-He is a big guy, which meant he was likely to break the tree doing it; high entertainment potential.
-Climbing a tree is tamer than the time he put tennis balls in his shirt, and stood on the hooker frequented street and blew kisses at passing cars.
-Climbing a tree is also tamer than squeezing an entire bottle of Elmer's white glue into his mouth, and chasing a man taking a nap under our Price.com sign in front of our building, letting the white glue ooze from his mouth.

Bob demonstrates his agility while showing the gentler side.Bob used masking tape to place a dollar bill out of a normal person's reach.

We all gathered around, cameras and eyes fixed, waiting for the next person to recognize their good fortune, only to have their dreams dashed away because of the difficulty in actually getting a hold of their new found fortune.

We continued to wait for at least two weeks. Two weeks.

Here was good money, displayed in public view, 24 hours day, for anyone with even the slightest climbing or jumping skills to take.

http://www.stinkfart.com/images/stories/01_03.jpg

The lack of interaction from the pedestrians was troubling. Something needed to be done. As developers, we decided that, like the good information architects we are, that the user, err, pedestrian, was not being offered the correct visual cues. We also guessed that perhaps people were looking at the dollar bill, but it was simply not worth the effort to obtain.

We decided to go out on a limb and double the cash prize. We also felt this was a bit risky, because now our entertainment was going to cost more. Entertainment of x quality at n cost becomes less valuable when the cost is doubled. Risky.

In detail, we placed a "Look Up" sign on the tree trunk, and a "Look Up" sign on the southern approach as well as a "Look Up" sign on the northern approach. Directly beneath the $2.00 was a sign that read "There are two dollar bills in the tree. Take them." We thought our instructions were quite clear.

Two weeks later. Still no takers.

Friday, the end of the third week. Four people take interest. All at the same time!

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The time had come. We had been waiting for this for a month and half. We weren't even sure if the dollar bills were legal tender anymore. They had lived a life on the streets. They were probably brittle. It didn't matter. We'd been waiting for this.

We quickly figured out what was about to happen. We had two children, a boy and a girl, and two adult females. One of the adult females didn't seem to be of "normal" status. She could have been mentally impaired, or simply moved really slow. We didn't know for sure, but it was a guess based on her expressions and movements and such. Normally, it's not right to make fun at the expense of the mentally impaired, but there were three other individuals who seemed completely normal, so we only made fun at their expense. And really, it didn't cost them anything. It was our two dollars. Either way, they were going for the money!

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The "normal" female subject quickly began to try and figure out how to get the money. The kids were acting like it was Christmas morning and they'd just seen Santa. All the times they heard "Money doesn't grow on trees" was utter crap, because here it was, right in front of their cherubic faces.

The "challenged" female immediately began to shed her backpack. This was a moment when backpacks should be shed. Big things were happening, and they certainly didn't require backbacks.

http://www.stinkfart.com/images/stories/01_06.jpg

It seemed that the group was ready to make an attempt at the dollar bill. Backpacks had been shed, jackets were hitting the floor. This was serious business.

The team had come up with a plan. A plan that we soon realized was both fantastically entertaining and scary at the same time.

http://www.stinkfart.com/images/stories/01_07.jpg

"They're stacking the child." was uttered under the breath of an onlooker. This was serious business. These people weren't messing around. If a dollar is in the tree, stack the child for goodness sake. Get the money out of there. Risk the safety of the child for a dollar! Place the value of the allmighty American dollar above and beyond your child's well being!

[Strider Fury]

"Maybe we should go help them". "No, it's too late, they're changing plans." They were. The child couldn't reach the dollars. Not even close. It was time for a new strategy.

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"By the power of Cleo, my pyschic friend, I command you dollars to fall from the tree into my hands!".

This tractor beam method was ingenious of course, but in the end, did nothing. But something else was brewing.

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The "slow one" caught site of the young child again, and this time, it was her idea. She chased down the red dressed girl for a second round of child stacking.

http://www.stinkfart.com/images/stories/01_10.jpg

Because the success of the first attempt at child stacking went over so well, they decided to do it again. Once again, failure was waiting for this attempt.

http://www.stinkfart.com/images/stories/01_11.jpg

Just for a second I'll cut the "dramatic writing style" crap and readily admit that behind our thick piece of glass you could easily hear the roar of laughter as this person began to shake the tree. The camera didn't exactly capture it, but she was shaking it hard. The whole thing was moving, and we thought for sure she'd knock the entire tree down.

http://www.stinkfart.com/images/stories/01_12.jpg[/img

They had hatched a new form of human stacking, this time, no children were involved. These ladies must have been cheerleaders in their youth. They seem to enjoy human stacking. The bigger one came up with the idea of getting on all fours and letting someone stand on her. We were beginning to think she was the most clever out of the bunch.

[img]http://www.stinkfart.com/images/stories/01_13.jpg

Just as the human stacking was about to take place, a guy walked by. Our dollar bill team asked him for help, which he quickly declined. It should be noted that this wasn't this guy's first time looking at our dollar bills. A few weeks earlier we caught him glancing upwards. Every day after when he passed this spot he'd keeps his eyes glued to the ground. We didn't like this guy. He frustrated us. His not helping the helpless further reinforced our distaste for him.

http://www.stinkfart.com/images/stories/01_14.jpg

The Scrooge McDuck guy left, leaving our team to their own devices. The clever one evolved her human stacking idea into a more advanced idea. Grab the tree while presenting a knee to step off of. Very clever. This allowed the leader of the gang to scale the tree more easily.

http://www.stinkfart.com/images/stories/01_15.jpg

Legs are of no use in a tree like this, which explains the dangling of feet. The bills were just barely out of the reach of the leader. As she shifted and shaked to try and get herself up higher, the tree shaked with equal vigor. We were legitimately concerned that our sapling might crack under the pressure. Nail biting ensued.

http://www.stinkfart.com/images/stories/01_16.jpg

She finally reached the first dollar, and dropped it to the clever one below. But the job wasn't finished until both bills were secure.

The second bill was freed, and the camera caught the pivotal moment that we in the industry like to refer to as "the money shot".

http://www.stinkfart.com/images/stories/01_17.jpg

With the money secured, the children broke out in wild celebration. Their dreams of wealth from a tree had been satisfied. These children will grow up to be highly optimistic, and will believe that if they can think it, they can do it.

We saw this same group walk by once more with fast-food in hand, and as they passed, they gave the tree a loving pat. They had earned their money. It took them nearly 25 minutes to do it, but it sure was worth it.

http://www.stinkfart.com/images/stories/01_18.jpg

Within an hour after the Climb the Tree for a Dollar, nine cheerleaders from Utah posed in front of our street sign. What a coincidence, as we suspected the dollar bill group to be cheerleaders too. Perhaps there was a cheerleader convention in town. We saw more random acts of human stacking that day than we ever had.

With the dollar bills gone, the legal department stepped in. Apparently, California has stupid laws. While in any other state we'd be free of any legal obligation to the tree climbers had they falled and broken their legs, in California, we'd be lawsuit-worthy. So we retired this prank. It's just as well, because we doubt it would ever get any better than that day.

Comments
Find a taller tree, and put a bigger prize, I want broken bones
N/A
Jul 31.02 | 8:0 PM PST
amazing how they did all that for 2 dollars!
Lucky
Jul 31.02 | 2:19 PM PST
The comments made this little joke funnier than funny. I rarely laugh out loud when I'm by myself...
Filibuster Vigilante
Jul 28.02 | 8:53 PM PST
i love it. I LOVE IT!!
ozma
Jul 17.02 | 9:56 PM PST
Can't believe Maxim stole your challenge idea. Their stories aren't half as witty and entertaining as your work. so FORGET THEM - I know your fans will!

http://www.stinkfactor.com/

[JohnnyTAE]

all the stupid things people would do for money :(
cheerleaders from utah :D

[mightychicken]

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