Joke thread

[-Spector-]

Post 'em.. I need a good laugh.

I'll start:

Why are all black guys fast?


(Answer below)

Because all the slow ones are in jail!

[Adrenachrome]

How do you know if your home was burglarized by an asian person

[-Spector-]

Your rice is missing?

[Adrenachrome]

Your valuables are missing and your kids homework is complete.

[-Spector-]

rofl, nice one

[talentedhamster]

This one's old, you've probably already heard it but oh well.

A black guy and a mexican guy are in a car. Who's driving?

[D3V]

the cop!

[talentedhamster]

=( i tried.

[Lenny]

What do four out of five people enjoy?

[-Spector-]

Sexual Favors?

[-Spector-]

Here's a picture joke:

Bush fused with McCain!

http://www.funnyandjokes.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/mcbush-mccain-bush.jpg

[-Spector-]

Even better...

VOTE FOR BILLARY!!

http://www.funnyandjokes.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/billary.jpg

[talentedhamster]

wait i wanna know lenny's answer!

[-Spector-]

I agree...

LENNY! GET ON THE BALL NIGGA!

::EDIT:: Off topic but Lenny, do they use the word "nigger" or "nigga" over in the UK?

[Lenny]

It's used, aye.

---

What do four out of five people enjoy?

Gang rape.

[Vault Dweller]

Awesome, Lenny. I'm gonna have to remember that one.

Ok, this may be pushing the envelope of good taste, but here goes:

What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies?

[Thanatos]

Oh God.. a dead baby joke.

Dead babies splatter when you throw them?

[Lenny]

I seem to remember it being something along the lines of: you can't load bowling balls onto a truck with a pitchfork.

---

Talking about babies... two for you:

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

How do you stop a baby crawling around in circles?

[talentedhamster]

idk, but i got a good one!


Whats the difference between a dead baby and an onion

[Lenny]

Onions make you cry when you peel them?

---

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.

How do you stop a baby crawling around in circles?
Nail it's other foot to the floor.

[talentedhamster]

Whats worse that 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?

[Lenny]

One baby nailed to ten trees!

---

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender?

[talentedhamster]

HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS TO MINE?

idk. =(


What's worse than a pile of dead babies?

[Lenny]

They're just educated guesses. :p Well, I know one similar to the ten babies nailed to one tree (What's worse than eight babies in one bin?), and the onion one was luck.

Don't know the last one, though.

---

And the answer to mine:

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender?
An erection.

[talentedhamster]

Hah thats messed up

answer to mine
What's worse than a pile of dead babies?

a pile of dead babies with a live one on the bottom tryin to eat his way out

[Vault Dweller]

How do you make a dead baby float?

[Lenny]

Hmmm... stop holding it down?

---

What do you do when you've had a baby?

[Vault Dweller]

Hmmm... stop holding it down?

Wrong. Answer: 1 glass root beer, 2 scoops dead baby.

[Thanatos]

lol I think dead baby jokes are tasteless but I laughed at that one.

[D3V]

Haha, the dead baby jokes are pretty fucked up. What's wrong is the people that sit around and think them up. Hmph.

[Vault Dweller]

Just be glad I haven't busted out the pedophile jokes.