Any Advice?

[D3V]

So i've been dating this same girl for a year and almost 2 months now. We've had a few discussions about having kids and starting a family, I really do have a great feeling about her, we've been recently talking about getting an apartment or maybe even trying to rent a house (I feel apartment is a much better idea) because renting a house is just a waste of money, it's like leasing a car, only morons do it or people that are in the position where they HAVE to do it, but in our situation we just want our own place to ourselves, sort-of-thing.

We've also talked about kids, the names of our kids, etc etc. We definately have a serious relationship with the little mishaps that everyone has.. but does anyone have some words of advice? She's almost 18 and i'm 20 if that makes a difference. Thanks people.

[!King_Amazon!]

Get an apartment with her and live with her for a while.

Seriously, don't even consider kids yet. Me and Nikki talk about having kids all of the time but we both agree that we're going to at least wait until we're out of college, probably longer so we can actually live our life a bit.

[HandOfHeaven]

You should probably wait until she is 18 and out of high school. Just my two cents. You'll have more months under your belt and see how everything is going, and she'll be more than excited for summer to come. This will give you time to scope out a place, make more money, and then just fulfill it.

[!King_Amazon!]

Oh, I read it as her being 18, not almost 18.

So, you're talking about having kids with a 17 year old. I would seriously watch out man, she might seem mature but if she's still living with her parents and in school, she's not. Wait until she's 18, get an apartment with her, see how that goes for a while. You can't truly know if you can spend the rest of your life with someone until you live with them. You find out a lot more about a person, spend a lot more time with them, and get annoyed by their bad habits. It's quite a trial for any relationship, but a very necessary one.

[Grav]

17 is still too young, IMO. Wait a few more years before thinking about anything more than moving in together.

[klo]

haha, yea, don't think about kids yet...i mean thinking of names is WAYY different than thinking of spending every last dollar you make, and every second of free time on this child.

Also, DO live together. You will see a completely different side...in almost every aspect. And renting a house is no different than renting an appartment...imo. I want to be moving into a house within a year from now, hopefully in Feb or March next year.

[D3V]

Well, the only difference is saving money on renting an apartment over a house, is what I meant to mean. I'm sure we'll have kids eventually, we've agreed to wait for a while, atleast another year before we do anything serious. Thanks for the responses guys, just what I thought i'd hear.

[Thanatos]

Pretty much what everyone else said.

Don't try and rush into things. She's still in highschool, man. Girls have no idea what they want at that age. If anything, wait till she graduates and if you both still think it's a good idea to get an apartment together, go for it. See how you like living with her.

Quoted for truth:
You can't truly know if you can spend the rest of your life with someone until you live with them. You find out a lot more about a person, spend a lot more time with them, and get annoyed by their bad habits. It's quite a trial for any relationship, but a very necessary one.

[!King_Amazon!]

Well, the only difference is saving money on renting an apartment over a house, is what I meant to mean. I'm sure we'll have kids eventually, we've agreed to wait for a while, atleast another year before we do anything serious. Thanks for the responses guys, just what I thought i'd hear.

The way you talk, it sounds like you've already decided on her. You really, really should wait until you live together before you even plan a future with her. You don't know how different living together will be. It's really a huge eye-opener, I was with Nikki for years before we lived together, I thought I knew everything about her, but I didn't.

She's still a kid, whether she acts like it or not. Until you move out of your parents house, work a job, pay your own bills, have your own place, you're a kid.

There are really a lot of other things you should be planning/considering right now, having kids is not one of them. If you're serious about wanting to be with her, you've got to figure out a lot of stuff.

Examples:

Where are you going to live?
Are you both going to work?
How are you going to handle money/bills?
Are either of you planning on going to college? Are you planning to go to the same college, or colleges that are in different states?
Can she even handle living on her own yet?(You'll most likely automatically say yes to this one, but nobody will know for sure until she actually does it.)

I don't mean to sound like a nay-sayer, if that's how I'm coming across. I just think you'll fare a lot better if you keep your head on straight. There are a LOT of uncertainties when you're talking about a 17 year old girl who hasn't lived on her own or any of that other stuff. Also, a 17 year old girl could change her mind any day about whether she even wants to be with you or not. Once she gets out of high school, she might realize that she wants to date for a while before choosing someone. Her parents will probably even urge her to.

That's pretty much my advice to you. The best advice I can give you is make sure, at all times, that you are thinking realistically. Thinking optimistically is alright as long as you realize that things often do not turn out as they are planned; make sure you consider all possibilities and have a backup plan. "Expect the worst, hope for the best."