...but now what?

[Lenny]

First thing's first...on Tuesday I finally told Jenny how much I like her. Which she actually seemed to take pretty well, all things considered. I've been trying to tell her since...oooh...Christmassy time, but I never actually plucked up the courage to do so. Sure, I'm full of ideas when other people are trying to do the same - take her out somewhere like a cafe, or to the cinema, get her on her own and just tell her - but when it comes to me I'm utterly hopeless. I'm too shy, or at least was (it seems to have disappeared for a bit :grin:!), to even start a conversation on MSN, let alone face-to-face. But finally I told her. And so cheesily!!

"You probably know I like you...heck, who doesn't? If you don't, well you learn something new every day. What I'm trying to say here, rather badly, is that I more than like you. I've been trying to say this, thinking what to say for days, weeks, months. Ever since Christmas for a fact. But I've never said it. Put bluntly: Jenny, I love you."

Yeah, smoothly done, Len. :weird:

And now that I've done it, said what I've been saying in my head for months, ticked off the top priority on my ToDo List...I'm kinda stuck.

You know that feeling you get when you've been working on something for so long, that it takes up all your time? Then you finish it and you think "Right, now what?". Join the club.

I know she wants to be single, I know she's been messed around by at least one guy, I know she doesn't want to get involved with a guy again (it was 'never ever' on Tuesday, but by Wednesday it had changed to 'not for a bit')...but, hey, I've never been good at timing. That's why the Conductor follows the Trumpet section, not t'other way round.

So, yeah...but now what? I keep on making excuses to myself for not having a relationship - "oh, I don't know the first thing about relationships, I'll mess it up to no end", "let's stay friends - I'll prefer to be friends for life, than have a relationship for a few months", "I just don't have the lifestyle or social life for a girlfriend", or, most embarassingly, "I've got really clammy hands, she'll be put off fo' sure!".

I've got my Leaver's Party coming up in a month or so (Yr. 11 Leavers Do thingy - what you'd probably call the Prom), and I know that I'll end up dancing with her, it's inevitable.

I can see I've lost the point to this, so I'll wind it up to a close.

So, I've told her, we've spoken for a bit on it (a whole day of worrying later - Did she get the message? What if she didn't? Is she mad at me? What if she hates me?!)...and that's it. Bit of an anti-climax. And I haven't the foggiest idea what to do next. Do I press on straight away, and seem keen? Do I wait a few days, or a week, give her space to breath and get over the fact that Mr. Hair poured out his heart to her? Or be stupid and let the whole thing die down and end up telling her again a year from now?

You're all genii in Love, so come on! What next?

[platnum]

You told her you loved her?

[Jamesadin]

Love? Wow, you're really into it. Best of luck, man.

Other than that, I don't really know what advice to give... if you two are really meant to be with eachother (atleast for now), you should naturally click.

[Kaneda]

Hm, I wouldn't have told her you loved her.
"You probably know I like you...heck, who doesn't? If you don't, well you learn something new every day. What I'm trying to say here, rather badly, is that I more than like you. I've been trying to say this, thinking what to say for days, weeks, months. Ever since Christmas for a fact. But I've never said it. Put bluntly: Jenny, I love you." Thats really good except you should have said all that in person and it would have been hella smooth. Except for the love part you should have left it at like and then asked her out for some tea and crumpets or something. Your an educated young man, and if your smart you can be witty and funny (most intelligent people can, some are just hopelessly dorky) and girls love funny. I was going to say play something on your sax for her, but it's a trumpet. Theres really nothing left, you have to wait for her. You say you haven't gotten notice that she recieved your declaration of love? Do you have classes with her? Do you even see her a good amount? Any mutual friends between the two of you? Social gatherings? Besides the prom thingy. Your going to need to flirt, that pretty much at the point your at. When she flirts back a good amount you know its time to ask her out. You can try and skip the flirting courting stage, but I feel that it's pretty necessary, so you actually know the person before you date them. Then again you've known her for quite a while it seems. So...

[Acer]

i stopped at the i love you... man, never break out the L bomb, thats nuclear

[Sovereign]

Damn..... I knew Lenny was capable of love, but not towards real PEOPLE.

I fail in the love department, so I'll just wish you good luck.

[gruesomeBODY]

Wow, i didnt expect u to say u love her. That pretty much puts you on the stalkers list if you ask me. All i can say is act as normal as possible when your around her, try to make it not so awkward. If she feels half of what you feel, she'll come to you. Girls always find ways to let guys know when and where they should act upon something.

[Willkillforfood]

Yea, "love" is too strong for someone you haven't dated. If you two can hang out I'm sure you can gauge you twos' compatibility a bit. Like they were saying ...if you can make her laugh that's a good start. Ask her if she wants to go hang out sometime. If she says no then yea ...probably not a good situation. Tough nookie.

[HandOfHeaven]

Obviously not everyone has the rule of 'in person'. Like mentioned before, you always do shit like this in person. It shows a lot of class, and confidence. Other than that, I don't really know much about relationships either. Just try and get in one and learn from that, right? It's like riding a bike. How are you going to learn if you don't try?

[Acer]

i know what she looks like, hah

[Willkillforfood]

Yea, what Hand said. Ride her like a bike.

[Hades-Knight]

Another one bites the dust.....

"You probably know I like you...heck, who doesn't? ----SERIOUSLY WTF???? YOU'RE PUTTING HER ON A PEDESTAL ABOVE YOU, NO NO NO

What I'm trying to say here, rather badly, is that I more than like you.--- WTF? RATHER BADLY?? CMOM DUDE WHERE ARE YOUR BALLS???? NO NEE DTO APOLOGIZE FOR THIS SHIT, YOU'RE APOLOGIZING AND MAKING YOURSELF WEAK IN HER EYES.


I've been trying to say this, thinking what to say for days, weeks, months. Ever since Christmas for a fact.---WTF?? SHE PROBABLY THINKS UR A STALKER!

Jenny, I love you."--- NO YOU DONT, YOU'RE INFATUATED WITH HER, IF YOU LOVED HER SHE WOULD LOVE YOU BACK OK? YOU DONT LOVE HER, YOU'RE JUST OBSESSED.

I'll be surprised if you manage to get this one in the bag.... I'd sugegst forgetting about her and moving on to another one...NEXT

[Lenny]

That's what I hear most days from people at school. "Lenny, you're not in love, you're just obsessed!".

Bring in the cliches: I can't move on. It's not possible to stop loving someone in a moment. And there is no other one. Sure, there are some cute girls in the school, but no-one who comes close to Jenny. Maybe I am obsessed, having loved her for near enough two years. But I'm not moving on. If I have spooked her a lot, then I'll just let it lie for a few months then start talking to her again. If she asks if I still like her, I'll just keep it to myself.

I first started talking to her just after Xmas 2004, and you know how that first conversation ended? "So Lenny...who do you fancy?". She found out eventually, by way of my best friend, but it didn't stop her talking to me. In fact, we spoke most nights for the next few months.

---

You say you haven't gotten notice that she recieved your declaration of love? Do you have classes with her? Do you even see her a good amount? Any mutual friends between the two of you? Social gatherings?

Yeah, she did receive it - we talked the day after about it.

Yes, Sciences, Maths and PSHE.

At least one lesson every day.

Quite a few.

And only the odd party now and then...which I rarely go to unless it's someone I'm good friends with.

---

Maybe I was a bit hasty with "I love you"...but she knows I like her. Everyone seems to make it their duty to let it drop into conversation. What else is there to say?

"I like you" - which is what she already knnows.
"I like you a bit more than what people are saying" - no biggy. Just a bit more.
"I really like you" - awwww, how sweet.
"I really like you...a lot" - slow down mate.

Tell her every single conversation but build it up in degress until a month later I tell her straight off?

What's done is done...and I could've done it a lot worse. I can build on a simple "I Love You" until...well until I've laid myself bare before her, told her absolutely every emotion I feel when I see her, what runs through my head when I think of her...everything. Now that would have been the stupid thing.

I've said she's still talking to me, she still smiles and says "Good morning" in the morning, makes eye contact and nods in greeting if we pass in the corridor. It seems we're both carrying on as if nothing has happened - maybe "acting normally" a bit too much.

---

So, flirt, hang out, make her laugh. I can make her laugh. That's the easy bit. Flirting will be slightly harder, but I believe I can pull it off - for one thing, we're talking a lot more that we did. She's actually starting conversations now. :p Hanging out will be the hard one. It's not as if we live that close...and me? A social life? I prefer sitting inside flinging messages across the world on here or reading a good book to going out, though things are changing ever so slightly. I've even decided to invest in a pair of jeans.

Hopefully I can pull this off. If not, it'll be a great learning experience.

And I'm awful with riding a bike. I always get caught up in the chain or meander into a wall.

[Raziel]

H-K, let him figure his shit out for himself. He doesn't need your retarded ass fucking up his mojo with the dating tips you read in Penthouse Forum. Go back to picking the scum from beneath your toenails and eating it, ass-stain.

[gruesomeBODY]

I've even decided to invest in a pair of jeans.

Wait, what have u been wearing? Isnt it cold in England

[JRwakebord]

Lycra, perhaps?

[Lenny]

I haven't worn Jeans for donkeys years. I've been wearing Cargo Pants, casual pants, parachute pants...but not jeans. Though I wore a pair recently, and they were really comfortable! I can see a new style of Lenny coming along.

[JRwakebord]

Haha Lenny is about to go prep.

[Lenny]

Noooo!!! Indie!!

I've got the hair, I've got the musical tastes, I only need to clothes now. :p

[JRwakebord]

You scrub. Take a fucking shower.

[Lenny]

I'm confused now...obviously the American versions of these words are different to ours.

I'm kind've proud...I got Jenny started with a lot of Indie music. Including her all time favourite band - The Libertines.

[Acer]

Its the same meaning... i dont know where he got scrub from

[Kaneda]

Haha. Lenny is about to go prep.
You scrub. Take a fucking shower.

Lmao. HK is kinda right about the pedastool bullshit, but then again girls love that shit sooo... its not like hes going to marry her HK. Also Acer... most of us know shes a fucking hotty already.

[Willkillforfood]

You can do HK's approach and use some illegal medication on her to make her more favorable.

[Lenny]

First it's give her a bell and see if she wants to hang out tomorrow, now it's drug her? :p You're quite full of ideas tonight, aren't you?

[JRwakebord]

Drug her, and take pictures for blackmail.

[Sovereign]

Rohypnol + alcohol.

But I don't think you want her to HATE you -.-

[Willkillforfood]

Lol I was just kidding. You're not HK so don't rape her.

[JRwakebord]

Just convince her that her only option is to fuck you.

[Sovereign]

Yeah just take her down into a bomb shleter and try to convice her that the world is over and you must repopulate!

[HandOfHeaven]

Ha, what about the kid you make....?

[Sovereign]

Well you could always just claim to hear a noise outside, and go up to check, and notice society has magicaly rebuilt itself around you and cloned the peopel that were lost in the first strike if that happens.

[KagomJack]

Sometimes it's best to contemplate what you're gonna say (referring to the words of 'love"), but I wish the best for you man.

[Willkillforfood]

Maybe Kagom can help you pick out a snazzy new outfit to win her over :P.

[HandOfHeaven]

Yeah, or make her cry blood...

[Willkillforfood]

Don't get the boy's hopes up now, HOH.

[Lenny]

I'd like a snazzy new outfit, God knows I'm six months overdue for one.

---

Sometimes it's best to contemplate what you're gonna say (referring to the words of 'love"), but I wish the best for you man.

I'm never a great one with spontaneity, which is evident with what I said to her. To be honest I was hoping (after she hadn't replied, and all the next day) that MSN had broken and she hasn't received the message, just so I could refine it and send it again in all it's glory.

As it was, she did receive it, and it didn't actually go all that badly. But I'll definitely keep it in mind for later experiences.

[Willkillforfood]

Still think you two need to hang out :p.

[Lenny]

And so do I.

Something of the like in PSHE - an hour of standing in a little group of about 4 others (including Jenny) because none of us could be bothered working...but that's not the same.

[Led]

*Sound of machine starting up* Advice Robot V.2.3. working, computing, computing, advice; You're a dumbass. Advice ended, shutdown commenced.

[Lenny]

I really do love your constructive comments in every thread you visit. You're an extremely valuable member of the team.

[Willkillforfood]

Is it a team like http://allvintagestore.com/Children%20Pics/HELPFUL%20FRIENDS%20%20WONDER%20BOOK.jpg ?