Is this right or wrong or...

[Acer]

Here it be...

I think my gf/ex(in debate) is having doubts about leaving her ex, but now he dosen't want her back. She recently put a pause on us, and I am wondering if its to see if things will work out with her and her ex. Now, I really care for this girl a lot, and she seems to care a lot about me, but I guess im #2. People say its wrong for her to do that, if that is what she's doing. If so, it makes me feel like shit... but then I think about it from her point of view. She was with him for 2 1/2 years off and on rarely then got serious for the last year and a half. There's a lot of confort and she does care for him tho she can't stand to be with him. So, if that was me, it would be hard to just not want to make it work because you're with someone new, but then you don't want to lose the new person if it dosent work. So by her having me tag a long... is it wrong? I know its unfair to me, but should I just walk away for ever or just go on my path before her till she's ready?

[gruesomeBODY]

if u care, then you should wait. but thats just me

[Raziel]

she does care for him tho she can't stand to be with him.

It's not entirely wrong, but it is retarded. If she can't stand to be with him, what the fuck is the holdup? She's not fucking married, she doesn't have kids with him (as far as I have been made aware) and she's barely 25% of the way through her life. What in the name of crap is so important about clinging to the last thin threads of an unfulfilling relationship when you're still a fucking child?

Tell her to get her shit in gear (nicer than that, however) and drop his ass. She's got her whole life ahead of her, and probably a dozen more guys to date before she finds Mr. Right. She doesn't need to be wasting her energy and willpower on fighting for a relationship in her teens.

If she doesn't get her shit in gear, either sit back and wait like a good pup, or tell her to get fucked. Don't waste your time agonizing over a relationship at your age. There's plenty more to come.

[Acer]

Yea, I totally agree... and I can't see what her deal is. I think she's just out of her confort zone.

And I do care... a lot, like tonight was just amazing, tho we split up... its still great being around her

[Jessifer]

Give her a bit of time to sort out her feelings, a transition like that isn't easy. Try to be there for her as a friend, though. It's nice to know you can have someone to depend on through confusing times. One way or another, she'll come around.

[Willkillforfood]

I agree with Raziel. Donkey punch her if she takes too long.

[Acer]

but i dont want to be too much of a friend, with her being confused... i may end up just only being that to her

[gruesomeBODY]

thats a valid point, but its what you have to do. Listen to the only girl in the forum.

[Willkillforfood]

Yea, listen to me. Being the only girl on the forum you should value my opinion.

[Jessifer]

That honestly cracked me up.

Anywho, Acer. There's always a possibility that she will go to him over you. You can hope that she'll realize that you're the better of the two, but that's not always the case. Girls are naive, and we have this stupid thing where we listen to our emotions and not our brains...even when it's blatantly obvious who we should go with.

You don't have to be "too much of a friend". Just be there if she needs ya, yanno?

[Acer]

Thats what I been trying to do... but whats confusing is... she always needs me. she dosent like me not being around. and for that, i feel maybe i shouldnt be around for awhile... maybe make her realize how i much i do mean to her. like how she left her b/f and now that he's over her, she's having withdrawls

[Willkillforfood]

Seems to me like she's being negligent of your feelings. If she wasn't over him she shouldn't have gotten involved.

[Acer]

well she did tell me she at the beginning she was afraid this would happen, but i didnt care. and i still would of made the same choice knowing what i know now

[Willkillforfood]

k, guess all you can do is wait it out. I'm sure you knew this and you just got on here for some confirmation of what you already felt.

[Acer]

yea i just want to make sure what im doing isnt just some stupid idiotic thing... like when your friend does the dumbest shit for love and you're like WHAT AN IDIOT, but he dosent see it... dont want to be that friend right now lol

[RoboticSilence]

Stick with her until something bad happens between her and her ex. Guess which shoulder she'll cry on then?

[Willkillforfood]

write her a haiku.

[Acer]

you know what is sad... she's the shoulder i "cry" on when shit is bad with her lol. i dont mean literally cry... tho i want to, its not good to cry.

[Willkillforfood]

lean on me acer, oh lean on me!

[Acer]

i actually kinda do lean on Zelaron, in a sense

[Jessifer]

I don't get what's so wrong with guys crying. As long as they aren't emo-weepy there's not a problem with it.

[Acer]

i dont have a problem crying, but i dont want her thinking im boo hooing over her and shit.

[Willkillforfood]

It's against the belief system that guys should be the emotional equivelant of the rock of jibralter(I'm sure I misspelled it but I couldn't be bothered looking up the correct spelling so diee.)

[Jessifer]

I think it's all a load of crap.

[Willkillforfood]

Sure it is as are many "norms."

[Acer]

yea, but think about it... if i cried when i was upset about it all, and im around her... it would make her feel bad, she dosent want to feel bad, so she's not going to want to be around me if i make her feel bad

[Willkillforfood]

If she doesn't want to be around you for showing your emotions then f her :P.

[Acer]

there is a difference between crying and showing your emotions... if you cry all the time, its straight up annoying

[Jessifer]

Like my sisters' ex. Jesus, I think that man had a pair of ovaries...

[Acer]

exactly, i feel like i can show i care in other ways... by saying so, writing it, the way i move and such... if i let myself cry ill let myself lose control and just act a fool

[Jessifer]

Aah. It's necessary on occasions, though. You don't wanna go through life as an emotionless zombie. Trust me, it doesn't feel very good.

[Willkillforfood]

A lot of girls like emotional guys. Or a lot of girls like guys that make up stories to get pity. I forget which is which.

[Jessifer]

For me...there has to be a healthy balance. If you feel like crying then by all means, cry. But if you're going to cry about every little asinine thing then I'm going to smack you. Hard.

Heartless of me, no?

[Acer]

Oh i do cry sometimes. no doubt... just when i cant control it