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View Full Version : 34 ways to kill an imp...and I need more. Any ideas???


Lenny
2005-05-02, 08:53 AM
As has already been established, imps cannot be killed.
They can, however, be horribly mangled, crushed under monstrous weights, slaughtered, decapitated, cut into lots of tiny little pieces and used in a dodgy butchers meat pies, pulled to bits by being tied to four horses tails whilst each horse is charging in a different direction, stabbed all over, impaled by all manner of things, eaten, burnt, smoked, fumigated, drowned, buried alive, suffocated, trodden on, completely drained of all vital liquids, split in half, hung, starved, dehydrated, hit with blunt objects, hit with sharp objects, hit with pointy objects, hit with objects, cut up by medical students, cut up by everyone else, clobbered, flung hard against trees, tortured, blown to bits, strangled, take an incredibly lethal overdose of the addictive Trippity Skippity plant, suffer from extreme blood loss, and basically hurt in any way that may cause them great pain and would kill any other person, plant or animal that had the grave misfortune of living. And each time, the imp will somehow come back to life. This process often involves a milky shadow floating out of the ex-body and reforming out of danger. This can be quite tedious for the imp if they were ‘killed’, as it were, in an unavoidable danger, such as a planet exploding, or imploding as the case may be. As the process only takes a minute at the most, the imp would come back to a still imploding/exploding planet and be ‘killed’ once again. Fortunately for imps, this has not yet happened, else they would all be incredibly ratty, and, of course, slightly displeased.

Above is a passage form something I'm writing called "The Way of the Imp". Basically it is a list of how you can "kill" imps. So far I have something like 34 ways to kill imps, and, as the tile of the thread says, I need more. Any ideas???

You can find the whole 15 pages here: http://brgs.digitalbrain.com/brgs/accounts/pupils/year2001/lendrumjames/web/03.%20The%20Way%20of%20the%20Imp.doc

Penny_Bags
2005-05-02, 07:11 PM
I'm so confused.

-=Rico-GP=-
2005-05-02, 07:33 PM
Wtf Is This?

Lenny
2005-05-03, 10:07 AM
A passage from something I'm writing.

Just give more ways to kill things that are not above.

Kaneda
2005-05-03, 12:38 PM
Above is a passage form something I'm writing called "The Way of the Imp". Basically it is a list of how you can "kill" imps. So far I have something like 34 ways to kill imps, and, as the tile of the thread says, I need more. Any ideas???

You can find the whole 15 pages here: http://brgs.digitalbrain.com/brgs/accounts/pupils/year2001/lendrumjames/web/03.%20The%20Way%20of%20the%20Imp.doc

It looks like you can kill one anyway you can kill a human. Whats the difference and why do you need more than a few?

JRwakebord
2005-05-03, 01:05 PM
Drawn and quartered.
Given a C4 enema.
Strapped to the underside of a car/wagon going over a rocky path.
Given cement shoes and throw in a river.
Put through a wood chipper (very messy).
Run over slowly by a steamroller.
Get their necklace caught in an escalator, results in slow stragling or slow decapitation.
Forced to eat a bowl of broken glass.
Roasted alive in a giant oven.

Penny_Bags
2005-05-03, 03:11 PM
Nailed to a cross.

Grav
2005-05-03, 05:14 PM
Licked by Dan XIII's girlfriend.

Sovereign
2005-05-03, 10:14 PM
Strap an active stargate to it. Dial out to a stargate in the event horion of a black hole. Then enclose it in a forcefield and eject it into a sun. It'll cause the sun to supernova and destroy the system.

Sg-1 did it to a system called Vorash and destroyed all but one ship of the Goa'uld system lord Apophis' fleet.

JRwakebord
2005-05-03, 11:24 PM
Um... right.

Also: extremely high voltage wires clamped to nipples/testicles/whatever.
Drink gasoline.
Lay it down on the road when it starts to snow and wait for the plows.
Make it watch Ashlee Simpson dance. It will kill itself in due time.

sue_13
2005-05-04, 06:56 AM
Put him in a vacuum and watch him explode due to the pressure change.

JRwakebord
2005-05-04, 07:13 AM
Plasma Genades!!!

Lenny
2005-05-04, 02:54 PM
More than a few mkaes the passage weirder...fits in with the rest of the book...:D

And there is no difference, except that they reincarnate if you will...they are immortal.


I'll write them all in. Any more ideas?? Keep em coming...

DISEMBOWLED!!!! :D

sue_13
2005-05-05, 06:21 AM
Have him squat as much weight as he can and he will push so hard that his intestines will shoot out his ass (i've seen pictures of this really happening) i dont think its fatal tho so it might not be of much good

Lenny
2005-05-05, 09:29 AM
It'd definitely hurt...

PureRebel
2005-05-07, 03:33 AM
Have him squat as much weight as he can and he will push so hard that his intestines will shoot out his ass (i've seen pictures of this really happening) i dont think its fatal tho so it might not be of much good



http://poetry.rotten.com/weightlifter/

khekhex

JRwakebord
2005-05-11, 12:18 AM
That. Is. Disgusting.

My ass hurts just looking at that fucking picture.

Lenny
2005-05-11, 09:44 AM
Must've really hurt...




Poor imps, having their bowels pop out...