Jesus was a Jew

[JRwakebord]

You know, Zonalon keeps going on and on about how Jews are so evil, and then he blows up at someone (can't remember who off the top of my head) for making a joke about Crucificion, so it's safe to assume he's catholic. Has it ever crossed his pathetic little mind that the person/deity his religion revolves around was, in fact, himself a jew? :)

[Kaneda]

I'm sure he has an excuse for that. The jews probably made that up or something. Anyways JR we've all figured out theres no point in debating w/ someone who won't listen to pure truthfull logic. If you can't listen to logic, you need bite the curb.

[JRwakebord]

Bite the curb? Sorta like in American History X, I guess. Speaking of which, I bet he just loooooooved the first half of that movie, but the second half, where the main character learns a little tolerance, was "re-written by the jews"


Also, it's the Bible that says Jesus was jewish, so I would be pretty interested to listen to him fight this one, just for the entertainment value.

[!King_Amazon!]

Obviously the Jews wrote the bible.

[Grav]

Then Jews control his faith, too. Making him Jewish!

[JRwakebord]

Hence: Zonalon, Resident Jew

[Kaneda]

Biting the curb didn't originate from American History X, but yes it was in that movie.

[JRwakebord]

I didn't think it had originated in that movie, it was just the first place I had heard of it.

[D3V]

Biting the curb started in the Mafia days.

[Grav]

I bit a curb once. I think it gave me TB.

[JRwakebord]

I bet Mary Magdalene gave Jesus TB. She was a hooker, after all.

[Hades-Knight]

What The Fuck???? When Did Jrwakebord Come Back?????? Omfg!!!!

Hello Captain Obvious

[Grav]

He only came back because he thought you were gone for good.

Thanks a fucking lot, asshole.

[JRwakebord]

I did indeed make my return. And hello to you as well.

[Grav]

Jesus probably stole Christianity from the Jews. They probably had it hidden away in a covenant marked "Plan B." Fucking Jesus.

[JRwakebord]

who's the asshole? me or hades?

[Grav]

Him, for existing. And you, for having money. (Therefore making you a Jew.)

[JRwakebord]

So I crucified Jesus? Sweet.

[Grav]

Mel Gibson is gonna fucking kick your ass!

He's racially aware!

[JRwakebord]

Hmm... If jews control the media and movies, how did a movie trashing jews get out, and how did it get so much publicity?

[Grav]

So that the Jews can make you believe they aren't really there!

Actually, you should have never believed they were there!

So actually they're convincing you to be convinced that you were never convinced!


They're so.. tricky.

[JRwakebord]

And they make a handy profit while doing so, too

[!King_Amazon!]

What The Fuck???? When Did Jrwakebord Come Back?????? Omfg!!!!

Hello Captain Obvious
How many times do I have to say it? Captain Obvious is dead. Captain Bovious killed him and took over.

[Grav]

I'm gonna go buy a yarmulke and keep it under my hat.

[JRwakebord]

Yah but I was resurrected. Just like Jesus.

[Grav]

Does that make Captain Bovious Jewish?

[JRwakebord]

Well you already said Captain Obvious is jewish because of money. So I guess Bovious could be jewish as well.

[Grav]

And Jesus was a Jew.. [ iron clad source: http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=35939 ] so it all makes sense.

[JRwakebord]

I guess since I am Jesus I qualify as an iron-clad source. Hear that Zonalon? I AM YOUR MESSIAH!!

[Demosthenes]

I guess since I am Jesus I qualify as an iron-clad source. Hear that Zonalon? I AM YOUR MESSIAH!!

No. I'm the messiah.

[JRwakebord]

Yah, I guess having a black Messiah would piss zonalon off even more. How about I get to be Jesus on M-W-F, and you get to be Jesus tuesday-thursday? saturday and sunday can be resolved via rock paper scissors.

[Grav]

http://www.citypaper.com/sb/68367/perrybible.jpg

[Demosthenes]

Yah, I guess having a black Messiah would piss zonalon off even more. How about I get to be Jesus on M-W-F, and you get to be Jesus tuesday-thursday? saturday and sunday can be resolved via rock paper scissors.

I've been the sole Jesus on these boards for the last 6-8 months, and I'm not willing to relinquish that position.

[JRwakebord]

Well since you've been Jesus, has zonalon said anything about the fact that his racist ass is worshipping a black guy?

[Grav]

Actually, I was the Mexican Jesus years ago.

I bestow Burrito miracles upon thee all!

[JRwakebord]

Nothing would make me happier than for Jesus to have been homosexual. Then all those ignorant right-wing nutjobs would finally have to stfu.

[Sovereign]

THis is a well known fact!

[JRwakebord]

To everyone but Zonalon, it would seem

[Kaneda]

Does he know any truth? I think not.

[JRwakebord]

All he knows is what he was probably (sadly) brought up to believe by racist parents and friends.

[undeadzombieguy]

Hmm he still hasnt replied to this thread. Which probably means he's still desperatly searching for things to copy/paste to prove us wrong.

[Lenny]

I wonder if he's read The Da Vinci Code...

[JRwakebord]

Fantastic book. My favorite part was how it alleges that Jesus was voted to be declared the son of god in order to attract more people to the religion. Which I personally believe.

[Lenny]

It was a great book yes...but the actual story...it seems to me slightly like a film script...

Angels and Demons seemed the same as well...

----------

Just imagine how it would tear up zonalon inside if he read it...

I think this calls for quotes!!!

[JRwakebord]

As soon as I find my copy I'll start posting the quotes that piss off the religious-types the most.

[Lenny]

If it's any help, I've got my copy nearly close to hand...if you tell me which bits, then I can quote them...he he he...rather weird way of doing things...:p

[JRwakebord]

Well we could just cut to the chase and tell him that Magdalene is buried in the Louvre. And that she is the holy grail. And that Jesus's bloodline (sired by Magdalene) is still alive today. And that Mary was not a literal virgin. And that Constantine and his top religious advisors voted to declare Jesus the son of god in order to increase interest in the Church.

[Lenny]

Bu that takes all the fun out of it...:(

[zonalon]

American History X is just a Jewish version of American History (it was seriously written by a Jewish Supremacist who wanted more Blacks to riot against the "evil white Crackers"). The Jews like to portray US as evil when we're the ones who deal with the criminals. As for Jesus being a Jew, why the hell would I care? I am a Zeusist.

I remember when American History X came out ( I go to an 80% black school IT SUCKS) I kept getting kicked in my knees in math class for being "an evil white racist cracker supremacist." The black teacher did nothing. Well, he did something. He said it was "justice," and then when I told my mother what he said, the black teacher told the Jewish Supremacist principal (whose last name was Steinberg) that I called the kids the dreaded "N" word, so the JS principal said my beating was perfectly justified. (But I never did say the dreaded "N" word to me)

I cried after that day, but I decided it was time to become racially aware.

[Lenny]

Zeusist??

Are you trying to get across that you are a follower of the Greek God Zeus??

A simple "Yes" or "No" will do...look how kind I am...I've given you the answers...all you need to do is copy and paste the corresponding one...

[JRwakebord]

A Zeusist? If thats true how come when someone made a joke involving crucifixtion you called them the anti-christ and demanded that they never make jokes like that again? And if you're not Christian, care to explain the following comments you made?

First let me ask you: do you believe in the Bible. God clearly believes in segregation and is against mongrelization.

http://www.christianseparatist.org/sixth/mamzir.html
http://www.cdlreport.com/sermon3.htm
http://www.posse-comitatus.org/Bibl...l_segregati.htm
http://ocassemblyofchrist.org/comp8.html
http://www.k-k-k.com/crime_of_mixing.htm ( OH NO! AN EVIL KKK SITE LOL THOUGHT I'D POST THIS ONE LAST )
http://www.cdlreport.com/sermons/mosesmarry.htm

The Bible does show that marriage to any race other than Adamic for Adamites is a sin.

Don't believe me? Read a Bible yourself (preferrably one that is 1950-)


Time and time again, you have also based many of your arguments on the words of Jesus, so that would make it fairly obvious that you are a follower of his
Jesus didn't even like them.

JESUS CHRIST, speaking to the Jews in the Gospel of St. John, VIII:44

"Ye are of your father the devil, and the lust of your father ye will do. He

was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there

is not truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he

is a liar and the father of it. - then answered the Jews - "

(which makes it clear that Christ was addressing the Jews.)


Here is yet ANOTHER example. Here you talk about your faith in Jesus in god, and how it won't change for anything
the world is flat i bet God only recently made it round to test our faith

seven days is a really long time when you think about it

the garden of eden must have been really big

GOD was telling the writers of the Bible what to write i bet

dinosaur bones = made by God to test our faith


Look! Here's you using Jesus again! And a reference to hell! Hell wasn't even "invented" in the time of Zeus, so good luck explaining that one
Always remember what Jesus taught us about masturbation. HE SAID NEVER DO IT OR YOU'RE GOING TO HELL


In conclusion, you are an asshole.

[Demosthenes]

He copies and pastes his shit. Don't even bother.

[Lenny]

Oh...but we want to lay into him.

And I've found some great things to say to him if he is a Zuesist...they're really good...honest...:)

[Raziel]

He's not a Zeusist. He's an 8-year-old kid with too much computer access.

Seriously, you guys, it's not even worth the effort. All of this time and energy spent on owning him is overkill. Not even MJ, who has more reason than anybody to be offended by his bigoted statements, sees no point to arguing with him anymore.

[Lenny]

Fine, we'll give it a rest for a bit...

Can I at least post my last bit of...whatever...???

[Raziel]

You're missing my point. Stop trying to argue with him. Flame him all you like, but trying to debate with him is pointless.

[Lenny]

We're not arguing, we are showing him the error of his ways and trying to own him as we do...at which we fail quite a bit...:D

It's practice for when we want to play with the big boys you see...:p

[Raziel]

*sighs and waits for this to turn into Ouroboros: Episode 2*

[Lenny]

I don't get the Ouroborus: Episode 2 bit...whazzat???


Am I right in guessing ex-member...something similar like this happened???

[Raziel]

Advanced Search > Member Name: Ouroboros > Find all posts

Have fun reading literally 20 feet of one-sided, ingorant text. Keep encouraging Zonalon, and that's what he'll become.

[Lenny]

Ah...I'm a getting ya...

----------

Looking at his Profile, he seemed to be kinda full of himself...

He he he...a zonalon that is extremely full of himself...oh dear...

----------

Ow, my finger is hurting from scrolling... :cry:

[Raziel]

Yeah, that guy was a dick, and Zon's headed down that path.

Don't even argue with Zonalon, because it'll just get irritating. Flame him, call him names, own him without engaging in his anti-semitic bullshit.

[JRwakebord]

All I know is that I get satisfaction out of showing how he makes an ass out of himself. It's good times. I don't see what I'm doing as debate, I see it more as me making him look retarded (even more so than he does himself)

[KagomJack]

Damn right Jesus was a jew! And Moses was really German :(

In seriousness: Jesus = Jew. Zonalon = stupid redneck.

[zonalon]

http://www.biblebelievers.org.au/jesusjew.htm

JESUS WAS NEVER A JEW!

[KagomJack]

~Jesus was a jew
You're a stupid foo'~
~Zonalon got no cock
It all got the chop
When he got his pussy in~

Now, shut the fuck up. Jesus = Jew.

[Demosthenes]

http://www.biblebelievers.org.au/jesusjew.htm

JESUS WAS NEVER A JEW!

Fuck you Zonalon. I was a Jew 2000 years ago, and thanks to you making Jews look so good, I'm a Jew again.

[KagomJack]

Holy Shit! It's Black Jesus!

And here I, German Moses, come!

[D3V]

http://www.articlesoffaith.co.uk/Jew%20Coll.jpg

[KagomJack]

If someone can make me a German Moses bit, I WILL NEVER APPEAR ON ZELARON AGAIN...no...I'm lying.

But by the way, nice pic, D3V

[JRwakebord]

Jesus was in fact a Jew. I am holding a Bible in my hands at this very moment. To start, Book of Luke, Chapter 2; Mary and Joseph take Jesus to the Temple of their Lord, as is the custom of devout Jews. So not only is Jesus a Jew, but Mary and Joseph were as well. Later on, same Chapter, Jesus refers to the Temple (a jewish institution) as "my Father's house" (direct quote).

In the Book of John, two of Jesus' disciples refer to him as "Rabbi", a jewish term.

There are also many instances of Jesus celebrating Passover. Now lets see, who celebrates Passover? Oh, right! Jews!

There are also many (far too many to list) instances in which the BIBLE refers to Jesus as the "King of the Jews".

Now I know you're not about to come over here and tell me that the Bible has been Jewified, or is wrong about certain things, because if it is, then the entire Bible is possibly Jewified, and so NOTHING in it could be taken seriously. And I'm quite sure you don't mean to imply that, do you?






P.S. See Zonalon, this is why people respect my arguments and not yours. I took the time and effort to do some research on the subject and summarized and presented what I found in my own words. You just paste a link to an argument someone else has already made. Formulate your own thoughts for once, and maybe, just maybe, someone will decide to listen.

[Grav]

Oh.

And here I was thinking that Jesus was Jewish.

[D3V]

I don't respect your "argument" because it didn't really make any sense. Quit stating the obvious?

[Dar_Win]

You fucking retard.... Jesus was born a Jew but then made Christianity.... go fuck yourself and learn a thing or two about religion, you fucking peice of shit jew

[Dar_Win]

http://www.articlesoffaith.co.uk/Jew%20Coll.jpg


the jewish survival kit

[JRwakebord]

You fucking retard.... Jesus was born a Jew but then made Christianity.... go fuck yourself and learn a thing or two about religion, you fucking peice of shit jew


If you are talking to me here, which I am assuming you are, since your post was in response to mine, I know that Jesus was born a Jew. That is the point I am trying to make. I also know that he was/is the basis for the Christian church. And as for telling me to learn a thing or two about religion, I took (Christian) religious education classes for 10 years, and also studied religion and philosophy in high school, so I like to think that I know a thing or two about religion.


Oh, and I'm not Jewish.

[!King_Amazon!]

JRwakebord ftw!

[Demosthenes]

Owned by JRWakeboard! Not only does he post links, he first tries to copy and paste without giving credit. Once we caught onto that, then he posts links.

[zonalon]

Hmm Well If Jesus Was The Son Of God Then He Wouldn't Be A Jew He'd Just Be The Son Of God Ever Think Of That You Atheist Hatemongerers!

[Kaneda]

Fuck you?

[JRwakebord]

Circular logic isn't very effective, you know that?

And since when does calling someone Jewish constitute hating them? I don't hate Jesus. I don't hate Jews. The only thing I hate is you.

[Demosthenes]

Hmm Well If Jesus Was The Son Of God Then He Wouldn't Be A Jew He'd Just Be The Son Of God Ever Think Of That You Atheist Hatemongerers!


Disregarding everything the bible says . . .

[Grav]

How can you hate him? The Jews stole all hate!

[slaynish]

Hmm Well If Jesus Was The Son Of God Then He Wouldn't Be A Jew He'd Just Be The Son Of God Ever Think Of That You Atheist Hatemongerers!


Okay

So

If i were to go to my grandmas house, and find her bible in the attic that is almost 200 years old, long before even the internet was invented, (?hell if i know?), your saying it would tell me that jesus is not a jew?

[KagomJack]

"YOU ATHEIST HATEMONGERS!"

All I gotta say is "YOU CHRISTIAN KKK HATEMONGER!"

Lame, right? Now, think about how if that sounded lame when I said it. Your version probably sounded MORE lame.

[zonalon]

"YOU ATHEIST HATEMONGERS!"

All I gotta say is "YOU CHRISTIAN KKK HATEMONGER!"

Lame, right? Now, think about how if that sounded lame when I said it. Your version probably sounded MORE lame.

I love everyone equally.

[KagomJack]

I have come to the logical conclusion, based on a series of studying the aforementioned typings by you, that you are clearly either (A) Not Zonalon, (B) Up to something, or (C) High.

[zonalon]

I have come to the logical conclusion, based on a series of studying the aforementioned typings by you, that you are clearly either (A) Not Zonalon, (B) Up to something, or (C) High.

I love you. I think you deserve gay equal rights. The Constitution is obviously flawed; gays are the backbone of society & straight people are just afraid of them. If everyone was gay, we would have no more hate and prejudice because there'd be no more humans!

[KagomJack]

I love you. I think you deserve gay equal rights. The Constitution is obviously flawed; gays are the backbone of society & straight people are just afraid of them. If everyone was gay, we would have no more hate and prejudice because there'd be no more humans!
At first, upon taking a glance at this post, I thought you were actually being out of character. Instead, I quickly realized the folly of such an idle thought and read it over again. You, sir, are stupid. End of discussion.

[JRwakebord]

I love you. I think you deserve gay equal rights. The Constitution is obviously flawed; gays are the backbone of society & straight people are just afraid of them. If everyone was gay, we would have no more hate and prejudice because there'd be no more humans!


The Constitutionmakes no mention of sexual orientation, fucktard. No one here has made even the slightest reference to the contents of that document except for you.

[KagomJack]

1) Zonalon is a retard.
2) You are wasting precious energy by replying to him.
3) It was funny to own him, but now it's getting to be boring.
4) How're you doing?

[JRwakebord]

I'm doing pretty good at the moment. My only gripe is a broken xbox controller, which is currently in 30-odd peices on my desk as I attempt to fix a broken wire lol