You want stock?

[HandOfHeaven]

Are you lonely? Do you not like your life? Do you smell like a dirty sock?
HandOfHeaven Stock Companies Incorporated can help you out!
Here at HSCI, we try to help you out. If you have a problem, we'll find a way to fix it and swindle you at the same time.

You may have heard of us also from Banned Camp. BC is a good place to get rejuvenated, and once you've been there, you may want to go again.
Investment can be made in increments of a common American dollar bill.
Signups are coming out shortly.

Benefits of my company:

The Help You Need
We Love To Give Expert Advice
Free TV Dinner With Every Subscription
You Can Invest In An 'Honest' Company
HSCI Is The One For You, And Could Save You A Lot Of Trouble


FAQ:
Why the hell do I want to Sign up for this?
We at HSCI want to make you, the customer, happy. And, with your investments, we will be able to reproduce that many times over.

Where do I sign up?
Right here at Zelaron. In the Poll

How come you are doing this?
Because we at HSCI just care that much about you.

Who is affiliated with this?
As of now, just HandOfHeaven, but soon more is to come.


Please use the Edit Tag to indicate that you would like a Staff position. We are looking for a President, Vice President, Chairman, and a Treasurer. All Staff must be complient, and will be paid for their honesty. Thank you.


Do not trash this thread, I believe it can lift off the ground.

[slaynish]

How do i send you money.. I'll give 1.30.

Make sure you send me that tv dinner..

[HandOfHeaven]

Of course. You can give it to me via Mail.

We will then send you your choice of dinner. Choices are as follows:

Mexican Dinner
BBQ Ribs and Chicken
Fajitas
Salisbury Steak and Gravy
Burritos Texanos
Peas, Corn, and Porn
Chicken Fried Fish Steak
Chicken Fried Pork
Baked Potatoe and Lettuce
Random Flavor (you get a surprise)

[Slim]

The "surprise" he's talking about is the dead dog in my basement...go with that one.

[HandOfHeaven]

I'm sorry, that is not one of the afformentioned flavors/kinds. If you would like to contribute more, Press 1. If not, Press 2. If you are confused, Press 3.

[Slim]

If this thread is a lame excuse for a joke, press 4.

*Presses 4*

[slaynish]

Of course. You can give it to me via Mail.

We will then send you your choice of dinner. Choices are as follows:

Mexican Dinner
BBQ Ribs and Chicken
Fajitas
Salisbury Steak and Gravy
Burritos Texanos
Peas, Corn, and Porn
Chicken Fried Fish Steak
Chicken Fried Pork
Baked Potatoe and Lettuce
Random Flavor (you get a surprise)



Peas corn and porn please.

[HandOfHeaven]

For all your snide comments, please leave them here.
http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?p=437935#post437935

[KagomJack]

hmmm...why do I smell a scam?

[Raziel]

That's not "scam" you're smelling. It's toe-cheese, and it's coming from you. Wash your feet.

[KagomJack]

no, I'm pretty sure I smell a scam.

I remember the same smell when I first saw Miss Cleo

[Raziel]

No, I'm absolutely positive you're talking about toe-jam. Miss Cleo is actually a very competent psychic but she's got foot-rot you wouldn't believe. Wash your feet.

[HandOfHeaven]

Actually, that is the secret. Miss Cleo is one of my clients, and it has done wonders for her.

[HandOfHeaven]

KagomJack, this is not a scam. We at HandOfHeaven Stock Companies Incorporated want to help you, the customer, with any needs you may have, within reason. Please, do not trash my thread with your bullshit.



























Thanks for your time, and posts.

[KagomJack]

I just don't trust you HoH. I think this is a scam.

[HandOfHeaven]

This is no scam. Be trusting. Maybe you will become a Staff Member (hardly). But, this is a completely profit organization, and all we want is your compliance and cash. We will in turn help you. Thanks

[Slim]

Give it up, this is fucking stupid.

[KagomJack]

I have to agree with you Slim

[Slim]

Stop hitting on me! Kthxbai.

[HandOfHeaven]

Stop ruining my thread. This is a fool-proof sc...*cough* company!

[Slim]

This thread was ruined right when you posted it. :rolleyes:

[HandOfHeaven]

Har Har. SO far no one wants stock, they want staff positions. Oh well. It was worth the two minutes it took me to write this up.

[KagomJack]

You both are vexing me >:

Slim: I am not hitting on you, you pompous ass.

HoH: It's a scam. Give this shit up.

[HandOfHeaven]

Shut up. It's not a fucking scam. Are you retarded? It was a good scheme damn it. It's in no way a scam. Tell me, how am I scamming you? I'm not. Stop gaying up my thread.

[Slim]

I demand you stop hitting on me this instant!

[KagomJack]

May the both of you fall down a flight of stairs into a pile of dog shit.

[HandOfHeaven]

Please stop hitting on people in my thread. And no, may you fall down a flight of stairs into a pile of horse shit.

[KagomJack]

1) I'm not hitting on anyone. This is seriously getting old.
2) Nice retort, take what I said and then make it reference me and then change it to horse shit. I've seen 8 year olds come up with better retorts
3) You will fail at this horribly

[HandOfHeaven]

Take it to the flame forum. Don't dirty up my thread with bickerings. I retract my joke about you're sexuality.