Computer fools

[BlueCube]

Oh boy, I have to admin for 3 exams, 3 days this week. The first two are just typing and proofreading, nothing special. It's the third, a Windows exam, that is driving me crazy. This is in addition to assisting in night classes for Word/Excel/Powerpoint/Windows XP (which is on a break at this point).

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Problems I've run into:

1) When I tell you to double click, I mean to click twice. It shouldn't be too much of an issue to figure that out, especially after I explained it to you twice before. But wait, this one requires a TRIPLE CLICK. Guess how many times you have to click on this one? No, not twice. Yes, with the left button. No, your other left. There you go, it's taken you a full minute to highlight that sentence.

2) When I say to go into the OPAC folder, I don't mean to attempt to open the Program Files folder. Do they even sound the same? You couldn't even open that folder correctly, so you actually failed at failing, that's great.

3) While everyone was on My Computer already: Floppy drive icon. Yes, the one that says "Floppy" by it, and has a floppy disk icon. No, that's a left click, try again. You click with the right button, as I've explained.

4) "Where do I go to open File New?"

5) You're actually asking me what the "up" button does? It moves up. You're welcome.

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I think I'll post more later..

[undeadzombieguy]

I know what you mean...the other day my mom asked where she could find @, I said press shift + 2, she then says aaaah this is annoying, whats shift. I show her the shift key and I say again, now press shift + @, she tries to tap the buttons at the exact same time (first took a while to time it right). Nothing happens and I see her getting mad inside :P. So I tell her first press shift and then 2, she presses shift, lets go and presses 2...then finally after saying to press 2 while holding the shift key and only to let go after she had pressed 2 she managed to type @....wooohoo way to go mom!

[Doofus_AW]

I deal with this kind of shit daily at work...I have a guy who cannot save an excel file no matter how many times I explain it to him...I have been trying to teach him this for 4 years now....

[Tyrannicide]

Guaahahahaha, I hate that.

With XP you have the shortcut on the start menu. I tell my parents to click those icons once. They keep clicking them (4-5 times) until a broswer loads. I tell them click once and wait, its not fucking magic, it needs to load, they still do it of course.

My dad, he cant even turn off the computer.

[BlueCube]

You can't get 'em to save either, huh? Oh boy. That said:

6) OMG WHAT HAPPENED TO MY DOCUMENT I OPENED ANOTHER FILE AND THE FIRST ONE IS GONE OMG OMG. The solution is to click the button on the bottom of the screen, with the same file name as the one you "lost'. Which click, you ask? Left, as it always is. No, your new document isn't gone, it's in the same place as the first document.

7) "Go to Start-All-Programs-Accessories-Notepad". HELP I CAN'T FIND IT!!! I, of course, click on Start, go to All Programs, then Accessories, then Notepad. I get the standard "Oh." and life goes on.

8) No, the computer isn't broken. It's off. Hit the power button. The one that has the universal symbol for POWER on it, and the word POWER on it. It's one of two buttons on the entire case. Here, I'll do it then.

[Penny_Bags]

Pwn. But you can't hate someone for ignorance. Just because someone couldn't click their way out of Microsoft Word doesn't mean you have to hate them. It just means you have to kill them.

[Medieval Bob]

Lol muchos pwn.

Okay, Okay I got one.

No the computer isn't a robot. It can't vacuum for you. It's just a computer.

Okay... I suck at this. Damnit, post some more BC! (Btw, I do have some seriously hilarious stories from a friend who worked at an ISP. I'll throw a couple up when I get a chance.)

[BlueCube]

9) Me: Okay, the login for the Novell Prompt is OPAC, so put that in. It's spelled O-P-A-C. And the password is the same thing as the login.
Them: "How do you spell that password?"

10) If you don't want to exit the test, why did you click on Exit, then click yes to a prompt of "Do you want to exit"? I'm glad you figured out how to left-click, but you can't do that part over.

11) Yes, the person next to you has a kitty on the screen, and you have a paperclip. Sure, let's take 5-10 minutes of class time explaining how to change your Office Assistant, I'm bored anyway. Also, it seems we need to add another 2-3 minutes explaining what the difference is between left and right click yet again, because "left" and "right" are too computer geeky for you to understand.

12) Of course I'll help you adjust your chair, that's what I'm here for!

13) When you're done, and you see a "Done" button displayed for you to hit when you're done (as said by the instructions and myself), what do you do? That's right, ask for assistance. Left click.

14) This one is understandable - Windows Explorer does not equal Internet Explorer. It's tough, I understand that. A lot of people have this confused, and I'm always happy to help. However, it's not understandable that you opened Notepad instead, and typed in C:\OPAC\Test and expected something to happen.

[Medieval Bob]

How old are these people?

[BlueCube]

How old are these people?

Most are 20-35, some around 50. That's no excuse for not knowing how many times you click when it's called "triple click", or confusing your left and right.

[Medieval Bob]

What's OPAC, and where are you giving this test?

[BlueCube]

What's OPAC, and where are you giving this test?

Office Procedure Assessment and Certification. It's an extrememly basic test, there's one Windows portion, one typing portion, and one proofreading portion. A gas company around here is hiring some clerical workers, and is using our college as a testing center - it's a rather high-paying job as far as office assistants go, so they're testing them before even interviewing them.

I also assist with night classes here at the college, as I mentioned. Some of these situations come from there as well (like the Kitty Vs. Clippy one).

[Medieval Bob]

Okay, I can understand some people taking an "application test" and sucking, but it's hard to believe that an actual college student could ask any of these questions.

By the way, how well does it pay?

[BlueCube]

My job is minimum wage (stupid work study, at least I get good references), but the one they are applying for is $10-15/hr I believe, which again is pretty high around here, especially for an office assistant.

The people taking the test aren't from the college themselves, they just come in to take the test.

Edit: Sticking #15 a little higher up, with the rest of 'em.

[Medieval Bob]

I feel sorry for those people.

VB Code not working very well... *goes to make a thread*

[BlueCube]

I have very little pity for them..

[Jamesadin]

11) Yes, the person next to you has a kitty on the screen, and you have a paperclip. Sure, let's take 5-10 minutes of class time explaining how to change your Office Assistant, I'm bored anyway. Also, it seems we need to add another 2-3 minutes explaining what the difference is between left and right click yet again, because "left" and "right" are too computer geeky for you to understand.

12) Of course I'll help you adjust your chair, that's what I'm here for!




Haha! Those two are magnificant!

[BlueCube]

15) Instructions on screen: Rename the folder OPAC Test Folder to OPAC Test Folder Windows.

Okay, you can rename by single-clicking on the name, and waiting for a cursor to appear. No, single click means once. No, once, not twice. Okay, I give up, let's right-click and choose Rename instead. RIGHT CLICK. What do you mean, "What do I rename it to", it's on the screen. Okay, now the next one says to go into that folder, and rename the file inside. No, to the name on the screen. How do you do that you ask? Why, by taking the keyboard and mashing it with your face.

16) I said to select only the part of the Excel worksheet that has the formulas on it. You proceeded to crash Excel by selecting the entire worksheet and AutoFormatting all 65525*128 or so cells. And as a nice touch, you picked the wrong AutoFormat anyway. And didn't save.

17) Why yes, I do in fact know that clicking the dollar sign button makes the current cell display as currency but thank you for informing me. Would the percent sign format as percentage? I DID NOT KNOW

18) How the hell did you spell your name wrong?