Turning Point *personal*

[Medieval Bob]

I seem to have made a habit of this at Zelaron. I don't know why I vent here... It's certainly not the best place for it, but this place has come to feel like a haven for me. If you've seen one of these before, you know the drill. If not, here's a couple of warnings.

This may or may not be a long read. I'm not good at writing journals... I never have been. It always seemed like I was talking to myself, and I don't like the idea of confiding in yourself... It just seems stupid. If you don't want to hear about my personal life, don't read this thread. If you have a negative comment, don't even bother putting it here. I won't read it, and you will immediately join the few others on my ignore list.

With that out of the way...

When was the last time you had a major change in your life? I've had a few in the not-so-distant past. I graduated high school a year ago. It seemed like such a big change. It was a change, but it wasn't nearly as impactful as I thought it would have been. I still see those friends sometimes that I really wanted to see after high school, and I still saw Kristy, perhaps even more than before.

I moved off to college a few months after that. I thought that would be a huge change as well... For the most part, I was wrong. I still visited home fairly often. I still saw my mother, my friends, and my girlfriend pretty regularly. The only thing that changed was my immediate company.

I moved out of the dorm a few weeks ago. I thought that would be a big change. I had planned to get an apartment with a friend, but I got the shaft on that deal. He ended up moving in with his girlfriend, giving me notice after all my other, newly-made, friends had re-signed their leases. With nowhere else to go, I moved into an on-campus apartment and got grab-bag roomates. Two of them are virtually never here, one of them is pretty cool, and the fourth is me.

On reflection, none of those changes in my life really made much of a difference. I still have certain rock-steady things to rely on. I still had some really great friends from high school that I hung out with pretty regularly. I still had my mother to support me. She gets on my nerves, but she loves me and tries her best, I know. I should appreciate her more. I still had my girlfriend...

That's where I'm going with this, believe it or not. About 5 weeks ago, I experienced the first dramatic alteration of my life in recent history. Kristy broke up with me. We'd had problems before, but we patched them up, or so I had thought. I'm not going to go into why for a couple of reasons. I don't really understand all of her reasoning. I'm not sure if I completely missed out on what she explained to me or if I was just too baffled to think clearly at the time. The reasons that I do understand, I completely disagree with... This is neither the time, nor the place, however... I digress.

I lost my rock. For weeks, I couldn't function. Kristy wouldn't answer my calls or respond to my emails. I couldn't think about anything but her. I got behind at work... I lost track of time constantly. I could barely sleep.

She responded to a PM on Zelaron just over a week ago, and we talked a little bit about some current events over the next few days through PMs and emails. She still wouldn't answer when I called though. She said that she didn't want to hear me sad, because she would feel guilty. That, she explained, might lead to a series of events that she didn't want to happen.

I told myself that I was fine with that. I was finally starting to come to terms with the fact that we couldn't be together anymore. I emailed her explaining my feelings. I said that I still loved her, but I knew that we couldn't be an item anymore. I said that I hoped we still could be friends. I find comfort in talking to her. Reading Kristy's words are even helpful, though sometimes I wish so badly that I could hear her voice.

Last night, I talked to her on AIM. She's supposed to be giving back the cell phone that my mom had gotten her for a graduation present because she (my mother) is still paying the bill. I asked Kristy for her new apartment number since I wouldn't have any other way to reach her after the phone was given back. I wanted her number in case of an emergency. I don't know what kind of emergency... It was probably a bogus reason come to think of it... It seemed logical at the time.

I had been feeling better about life... I lost a girlfriend, but I still had someone I could talk to. I still had someone that cared about me... I thought I did anyhow. She said no. I'm dramatizing that. She still cares about me I think. She just doesn't want to care about me with me... Fuck it... The point is that she said no.

Kristy and I were together from February 12th, 2000 to April 30th, 2004. That's 4 years, 2 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days... That's about 22% of my life.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do now... I'm still working to pay rent. I'm still going to class... working for my degree. It just doesn't seem to have any purpose anymore. At least it doesn't right now.

I hadn't posted anything about this on the forums before now because Kristy comes here somtimes. I didn't want to say anything to offend her. Don't get me wrong, I still love her more than I could possibly express with the 26 letters I am limited to. I just need to get some of this out, or I'll explode.

There is so much more to say, but coherent thought seems to have left me for the night. Before I start rambling, if I haven't already, I'll end this.

[Raziel]

I really honestly can't tell you how to deal with this, Bob. I've been in long relationships, but the longest was a year, and I broke up with her. I know what it's like to have this happen, only to a much less drastic degree. I've been dumped, but only by girls I was dating for a few months or less. I know that it's gotta hurt like hell, and it has to feel as though nothing else is important anymore.

One way or another, you've got to find your own way to give the rest of your life it's personal meaning back. There's no concrete way to fix the pain, and there's no absolute solution to ease the hurt. All you can do is not give up on yourself, and wait it out. Eventually the color will start to fade back in.

[D3V]

Its a mid-mid life chrisis. ..

I'm going to graduate next year, whereafter I am going to get an apartment with some friends near university of pheonix in North Florida. We're all planning to save up for college and go there, seperate courses, but same school. Hopefully it won't be so bad, I duno, haven't been there yet.

[Raziel]

That's not really a mid-life crisis, unless you only plan to live to the age of 35.

[platnum]

A mid life crisis is when you decide that you don't like your job and you go through a crazy career change. Not a break up. At least thats what I always thought of a mid life crisis. Correct me if I'm wrong.


I still love her more than I could possibly express with the 26 letters I am limited to.

I don't understand the 26 letter part of that.

My brother went through a hard break up about a year ago, he went to a shrink. It helped him alot. I'm not saying your crazy or anything, just a suggestion.

[badboy]

There's plenty of other fish in the sea.

[Medieval Bob]

There's 26 letters in the alphabet...

Also, fish in the sea is the worst analogy to tell to someone who has just ended a long-term relationship. Other fish have no appeal to me right now...

[Thanatos]

Because you're still moping around about Kristy. That's why. I know it's gotta be tough, but you have to move on and one day you will find a replacement. It always happens.

[Hades-Knight]

Because you're still moping around about Kristy. That's why. I know it's gotta be tough, but you have to move on and one day you will find a replacement. It always happens.

That's true, after I broke up with my girl I was debastated, I didn't even wanna wake up in the morning for awhile, and then I met this girl, we never were abything besides friends but for some reason she made me forget about the ex.

Anyway Good luck with everything, just give it time and it'll heal.

[Titusfied]

..What to say. Everyone deals with things differently. For most though, time is the best answer. Of course no one else looks desirable right now, but they will, slowly. I know it sounds like shit, but give it a few months, and it will get easier. When you least expect it, everything will take a turn for the better. I don't know why, but it always does. Keep the faith brother man!

[Ganga]

Same thing kinda happen to me, my girlfriend just move to another country yesterday.... i guess it's over for us.

[DaFrigginDoctah]

Same thing happened to me with my first. You all know about that drama, most of you, anyway.
I didn't want to accomplish any of the goals I had set for myself, that I had set for us. For several, several months. I didn't want to do anything. Then one morning I woke up smiling. I still love her, but it's true what they say about that...
At least I know I had something so great in my life at one point in time, that it's possible to grasp it again. I know it isn't impossible anymore. And until then, I am just going to enjoy life, and let whatever happens, happen.

[khwiii]

Well, first I gotta say, I'm shocked. I figured you two were lifers. I haven't many words of encouragement, for they'd all seem cliché at this point in time. I've been with my girlfriend strangely from the exact day you and Kristy got together, and I can't imagine coming home to her not being around. Bitchy as crabby as she may be.

All that being said, bottom line is, stay focused on the task at hand, which is the rest of your life.

Oh yea, if you plan on living to be about 80, it'll only end up being about 5 % of your life. You had enough fun to make it worth 5%.. right?

[badboy]

Also, fish in the sea is the worst analogy to tell to someone who has just ended a long-term relationship. Other fish have no appeal to me right now...

Ok, then I'll be sure and never be nice to you again.

[Titusfied]

What are you talking about? It's the truth.

[D3V]

Well if you ain't gonna have a woman for a while you'd better stock up on Lotion and pr0n

[badboy]

I'm just saying it doesn't look like she is going to take him back. Maybe he SHOULD look for company elsewhere.

[Medieval Bob]

We were together four fucking years. You want me to go out and find a hooker?

[Titusfied]

Yeah, I agree that he definitely should, but it will take some time until he can do so.

[Grav]

I'm just saying it doesn't look like she is going to take him back. Maybe he SHOULD look for company elsewhere.

We were together four fucking years. You want me to go out and find a hooker?

Yeah, I agree that he definitely should, but it will take some time until he can do so.

That's a rofl. Anyway I've refrained from posting in this thread because I hate bob and everything he and his Maoists stand for.

[Medieval Bob]

1. I am not a commie.

2. Titus was replying to badboy (which I'll assume you already knew).

3. refrain. v. To hold back; forbear; abstain; withhold.

[Silverjinx18]

My brother went through a hard break up about a year ago, he went to a shrink. It helped him alot. I'm not saying your crazy or anything, just a suggestion.

He wouldn't ever do that...



I had been feeling better about life... I lost a girlfriend, but I still had someone I could talk to. I still had someone that cared about me... I thought I did anyhow. She said no. I'm dramatizing that. She still cares about me I think. She just doesn't want to care about me with me... Fuck it... The point is that she said no.

...What was the last thing I said to you...I said that I didn't want to hurt you, that I cared for you, and that I loved you...that this was just something I had to do for my life...

[Sovereign]

Wow, this brings back unpleasant memories.....

Just don't do what I did. Always maintain contact with each other. Think about it this way. If you were close enough to be boyfriend and girlfriend, you are definitly close enough to be bestest friends!!!

Of course, I totally lack experience in this area. Sorry if i cant be more of a help :-\.

[Slim]

I remember hearing this saying somewhere so..here it is.
"If two people who were once in love, can remain friends then they were never in love in the first place, or still are."

[Penny_Bags]

I am not going to say anything about this topic, and the only reason is because I don't know enough about Bob or Jinx's personal lives to make any suggestions or accusations. Having said that, I do want to make it known that I care, and it must suck ass.

[badboy]

Why did she break up with you ? What were her reasons ?

[Grav]

3. refrain. v. To hold back; forbear; abstain; withhold.

..Duh. That's why I said it, smacktard.

I shouldn't even bother posting anymore because people try to catch each other on mistakes and end up making themselves look stupid. Actually, that's fun.

Here's the lowdown, Bob. Pay close attention. I refrained from posting in this thread previously, because I hate you and any advice I can give will involve razors or cyanide. I don't consider these posts to be "on topic" so I'm still refraining.

And you are a red loving douche. Go back to mainland China.

[Silverjinx18]

..Duh. That's why I said it, smacktard.

I shouldn't even bother posting anymore because people try to catch each other on mistakes and end up making themselves look stupid. Actually, that's fun.

Here's the lowdown, Bob. Pay close attention. I refrained from posting in this thread previously, because I hate you and any advice I can give will involve razors or cyanide. I don't consider these posts to be "on topic" so I'm still refraining.

And you are a red loving douche. Go back to mainland China.


Look no one needs to say anything about suicide or shit like that...that's really low...and when someone tells their x that's what they're about to do just to get them back...that's low too...just because you don't like him doesn't mean you need to be a prick... I don't care if it was a warning not to ask you for advice, just don't post...

[Grav]

I'm being factitious, cry about it.

[Hades-Knight]

Well if you ain't gonna have a woman for a while you'd better stock up on Lotion and pr0n

His woman didn't give him any in first place.

It looks to me that has grown out of their relationship, when they went different ways to go to college she probably met some people and changed everythign she stood for before. That "im not having sex 'til I married" is probably gone too...

It's hard to stop feeling that way about a person if you still talk to her often, I've bene in similar situation before and the best thing I have found works best is to not see/talk to her for awhile until you feel comfortable being by yourself. Also keeping busy to keep the mind from thinking of her works good too.

[Slim]

You probably shouldn't of told him that his ex is probably out there humping people. o_O

[Titusfied]

I doubt she is.

I remember the going to college thread, and I all but predicted this would be the outcome after the first year. People don't tend to take my advice to heart. They all think they are the exception or something... Shit happens.

Plain and simple.

Shit happens.

[Ganga]

just another college thingie... college always break up high school couple, i see it too often.

[Grav]

In seriousness, I'm sorry that you're having problems, Chris. But I can only offer you one piece of advice.

Go swimming, it helps.

[Slim]

Yup, shit happens. The only real advice to give that is sure to help it just try you're damndest to keep your head up, life ain't always easy but just staying on top, even when it hurts will make you a better person in the end.

[Ganga]

Yep it's hard as hell, my girlfriend just move back to japan I am thinking to move there dammm... which will be never going to happen.

[Silverjinx18]

LOOK I'M NOT HAVING SEX DAMN...IF YOU ONLY KNEW...IF YOU ONLY FUCKING KNEW...The things I want to have in life need for me not to be in a serious relationship...Chris is the only guy I ever loved...I don't even know what love is, I just know about this one feeling I have for this one person...look I still love Chris honestly! but I have to be an adult (that of which most of you are not...) I have to be able to cut this off and go one with what I want in life...and if it were ment to be then we'll find eachother again and life will be good...but I've missed out of four of the best years of my life and I want to have fun....god I'm just ranting, but this really pisses me off...not Chris, but the dumbass remarks about me...Sleeping w/ someone else!! wtf...Thanks Titus for not thinking I'm a slut now! wow...fuck you guys...

[Titusfied]

Wow. You should just ignore them. I'd think Bob didn't express the reasons this all happened for a reason... Oh well.

Good luck to both of you.

Oh, and I don't think you missed the 4 best years of your life. The best years of your life is ahead of you, IMO. You will learn more over those 4 years than in the previous 18 or 19.

[Slim]

Relax, jeez. I never said you WERE I said you MAY, I mean anything is a possibility. Sorry, I didn't know saying that you could be having sex would offend you.

[Ganga]

if you saying that you missing your life being with the man you love.. then i don't know how much you love him.

[Grav]

CHRIS IS SLEEPING AROUND?!?!?!?!??!

[Silverjinx18]

That is not what I ment...I ment I spent a hella lot of time w/ him and shrugged off hanging out with my fri...oh forget it...I'm sorry I even try...I'm sorry I fucked you over Chris...I'm sorry I've waisted everyone's time...I'M sorry...:cry: Maybe I am a slut for hurting a good man...but damn it it's just my life right?...I only get one...

[Slim]

Relax, everyone makes mistakes but the point is to learn from them. Now maybe this was or was not a mistake. Who's really to say besides you? Whatever you think you should do, is what you should do. Don't spend your life going around trying to please other people. Do what you think is right and know that some people will disagree with you, don't worry about them. This is your life, so enjoy it and do what you damn well please.

[Grav]

Tsk.. I don't like where this is going, so I suggest everyone shutup and instead focus on something different.

Like this. (http://gsurge.com/misc/D3V.jpg)

[Titusfied]

Hey, if you two are meant to be together, you will see it, eventually. Everyone needs a little variety now and then. It's good for really finding out who you are, and what you want.

[Grav]

Hey, if you two are meant to be together, you will see it, eventually. Everyone needs a little variety now and then. It's good for really finding out who you are, and what you want.

LIKE THIS. (http://gsurge.com/misc/D3V.jpg)

[Titusfied]

I don't get it?

[Grav]

Neither does Penguin.

[Sovereign]

No shock there. Now knock it off with the Klan images -_-

[Grav]

You mean mjordan?

[Silverjinx18]

Everyone needs a little variety now and then. It's good for really finding out who you are, and what you want.

Wow...That's just what I've been trying to say...I just couldn't ever get it out :)

[badboy]

Leaving someone you love for your own future, either means you don't love them or your just plain selfish.

[Slim]

There are different kinds of love though. Brother/siterly love, being IN love, that of a strong friendship. It may turn out that they are better as friends than they were as a couple.

[Ganga]

no being apart is good, it will either make you guys bond more together or you guys not meant for eachother.

[Silverjinx18]

Leaving someone you love for your own future, either means you don't love them or your just plain selfish.


...Wow..wow...fuck you verymuch there...so I should (wow I shouldn't be writing this where Chris can see it) but you think I should give up my life and happyness so that I can make someone else happy?? Cause that makes you selfish...

[Titusfied]

I just happen to have had this happen to me (Only a 22 month relationship though), and my roommate is actually figuring this out now as well (His was/is (?) a 5 year, and about 2 months now relationship), so I have plenty of experience in this area. :)

[Xenn]

Sorry.....

[Raziel]

LIKE THIS. (http://gsurge.com/misc/D3V.jpg)

I had my mouth full of Mountain Dew when I clicked that, you asshole! Now it's all over my monitor!

Bob: I already gave you my opinion, but I'll reiterate it here. Pain doesn't last forever, and the only real thing you can do is wait and not give up on yourself. Don't drink yourself stupid over this, don't start smoking crack and don't give up on who you are, because you are not where the complication lies. This is not about Jinx breaking up with you, it's about Jinx figuring out her own issues. I know that's not much of a consolation, but it's something, right? Don't try and re-arrange what you are at your core because you think you are flawed and that your flaws are the cause of this.

Jinx: Everybody needs to do this at some point, right? At a certain point, you have to break things down in order to continue building. The same applies to a person's life. In order to progress, you've got to demolish some things to continue moving forward. That's what this point in your life is meant for, and this is just a symptom of that. You're not in the wrong for doing so, because it's something you needed to do for yourself. There's nothing selfish in that, because if you constantly focus on what other people need, you tend to tangle your own shit up in the process. I know from far too much experience in that regard. You do what you need to do for yourself first, then you worry about other people's needs. It's like the lifeguard procedures for when someone is drowning under a bridge. If the tide tries to smash you into a pillar, you use the victim's body as a shield, because if you get fucked up, you're both shit out of luck.

That's about all I've got to say in regard to this matter. Bob, don't tear yourself up over this. It's gotta hurt like hell, but the pain won't continue indefinitely. Jinx, don't tear yourself up over this. You need to do it, because if you don't, and you two get smashed into a pillar, you're both going to get hurt a lot worse than you are now.

Now I'm going to clean this fucking monitor, you son of a bitch, Grav!

[Silverjinx18]

Wow that was...amazing...I couldn't have said it better myself...thanks these posts really help...:)

[Hades-Knight]

You say youn don't want to be in a relationship because then you will not fully enjoy the next 4 years then you are just saying that you will be doing things which would be considered cheating on a relationship. Im not saying you will go out there and have sex but you get my point, you can't have fun if your attached to somebody because they'll make a big deal of it.

[frickaline]

Dude, you need to cheer yourself up. I know that it somehow seems like the right thing to do is to dwell on this, but its not. It's just more painful in the long run.

Go out. See a movie. See some friends. Go to a party. Meet new people. You have so many better options than feeling bad about this. You just have to choose not to.

-frick

[Medieval Bob]

I'd just like to make a point... While I appreciate your comments, and I will not (at least not now) take offense at them, I will say that I do not want negative comments directed toward Silverjinx.

This thread is not about blaming her for anything. It's not about her being a bad person, because she is not. It's about my being sad at a personal loss.

Whatever you think of her actions, you do not know her reasoning (nor do I fully). For her sake, and for mine, as I still have feelings for her, please do not make this, in any shape or form, into a Silverjinx-bashing thread.

That aside, I appreciate all the positive comments. Thank you for your support.