Your best pick up line

[LiveWire]

^title, Your best pickup line that you acually you or someone you know used on a male/female. Or just some funny ones alltogether.


Heres some good ones.

"You must be a farmer, because you must know how to raise a cock."
I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 women went down on the Titanic
"Is that a space shirt, because your tits are outta this world"
"My penis likes you but my wallet won't, nor my mother"
hey baby u into music? cause im about to release my 12 inch single


Bordom lol

[platnum]

"Hey you dropped something."
"What?"
"My jaw."

[LiveWire]

lmao, nice one.


Man: "Are your parents retarted?"
Girl: What, Why?
Man: Cause your a very special person.

Saw that on MtV lol

[HandOfHeaven]

Yes very nice platnum, keep them coming. Livewire those ones are funny and cool also. I have no pickup lines, sometimes i joke around with girls using the old "I lost my number, can I have yours".

[platnum]

"Did you put windex on your pants?"
"No, Why?"
"Cause i can see myself in them."

[Hades-Knight]

Hi2u!!!! sex k?


Always works

[Penny_Bags]

Hi2u!!!! sex k?


Always works

lol. Dude that was fucking funny... I'm really sad right now and i was actually laughing out loud.

[Kuja`s #1]

A few years ago, a buddy bet me five bucks, that if I went up to a girl and said something crude, she would kick me in the nuts.


I did. I walked up to a blonde eighth grader and said "Bang you for a buck." I got the money. She didn't hit me in the nutsack. She started scratching at my face and pulling my hair.

[LiveWire]

Hi2u!!!! sex k?


Always works

PwNT!





6789.

[Acer]

Me: "Hey, like whats up?"
Girl: "Nothing"
Me: "Im Dustin"
Girl: "I want you"
Me: "I know, lets go"
Girl: "Good, got protection"
Me: "Yes"

[Luhizot]

"You shoul be my son. You're not my son cause your mother didn't have change for U$ 10.00"

[Randuin]

Sounds like Chooser's intarweb dates

[Grav]

I've always been fond of "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

[Dan XIII]

^title, Your best pickup line that you acually you or someone you know used on a male/female. Or just some funny ones alltogether.


Heres some good ones.

"You must be a farmer, because you must know how to raise a cock."
I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 women went down on the Titanic
"Is that a space shirt, because your tits are outta this world"
"My penis likes you but my wallet won't, nor my mother"
hey baby u into music? cause im about to release my 12 inch single


Bordom lolthose are pretty good except for the 4th one I don't understand.

[HandOfHeaven]

those are pretty good except for the 4th one I don't understand.
She's a fricken hot whore who he doesn't want to spend money on, nor will his parents like her cuz she's a whore. That's how i comprehended it.

[DaFrigginDoctah]

"Sup?"
"Hey."
"I'm Mike."
"I'm (insert bimbo's name here)."
"Nice to meet you."
*talks for a while*
"Hey, you wanna give me your number so we can hang out sometime?"
"Sure, I'd like to fuck you (paraphrasing) my number is 234908383093w098309830983098309832098ur309u3r098u3 ."

[Acer]

"How much is this going to cost and do you take credit cards?"

[PureRebel]

Hey did You fall from heaven?
Why?
because that might explain what happened to your face!

[Eddie_Perez]

0mg, th4t 0n3 pwnt m3 s3ns3 0f hu|\/|0r!

[platnum]

Fuck me if im wrong, but your name is sydney right?

[LiveWire]

Spit in her face, gets there attention

[platnum]

Spit in her face, gets there attention

pretty sure that wont work.

[Eddie_Perez]

Could always try the Scarface approach...

[Dan XIII]

Spit in her face, gets there attentionthat would never work.If it did I think she must have been drunk. :)

[RoboticSilence]

"Hey!"
:sex:
"Sorry! I can't pay child support!"

[Dan XIII]

That's terrible. :shame: I would never do anything like that.

[D3V]

I bet you can't outdrink as much as I can spend.

[Lenny]

I'm quite partial to:

Girl you must be Jamaican, because ja makin' me crazy!

And:

Come on. Be different. Say "Yes".

EDIT: Ooooh! One I heard in my college bar and have just rememberedL

Is it just me, or are chat-up lines getting worse these days?

[Thanatos]

Girl you must be Jamaican, because ja makin' me crazy!


Please tell me you don't actually use this? :confused:

[Lenny]

Of course I haven't! It'd be suicide!! Doesn't mean I can't like it, though. It amuses me.

[Thanatos]

lol I think you should actually use it and tell us how the girl responds.

[D3V]

Holy shit that would be the worst pickup line ever. It sounds like "Hey are you from Tennessee? Cuz your the only Ten I see".

wakka wakka wakka

[Wallow]

Do you work at subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.

[JRwakebord]

Hey does this rag smell like chlorophorm to you?

[Lenny]

You know why we're going to have sex tonight? Because I'm stronger than you.

[D3V]

Hahah, they keep getting darker and darker.

[Wallow]

Orly?

Roses are red
Grass is green
Open your legs
And I'll fill you with cream

Sex is evil
Sex is a sin
Sins are forgiven
So stick it in

[Slim]

Hey does this rag smell like chlorophorm to you?

Damn, I was gonna use that one. Ok, how about this?


Roses are red
Violets are blue
Get in my bed
Before I beat you

[jamer123]

heres one of mine

wanna start with two computers and then get 3

[Asamin]

Wallow discovered this one a while ago:

You make my kakuna harden.

[JRwakebord]

You know why we're going to have sex tonight? Because I'm stronger than you.


Oh man I almost pissed myself at that one.

[Wallow]

I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night?

[JRwakebord]

You want to get dripped on?

[D3V]

Are your parents retarded? Because you really are special..

[KagomJack]

"So I heard you like fisting."

[D3V]

LOL..

[Chruser]

Over the years much valuable work has been done researching the relative
merits of various penetration speeds during sexual intercourse, but to my
knowledge none of the researchers has ever pursued this line of reasoning
to its logical conclusion--what effects can be expected as the velocity of
the dick (Vd) approaches the speed of light?

In this velocity regime the classical Galilean reference frame transformation
becomes wholly inadequate, and a clear understanding requires an invocation
of relativistic kinematics.

In accordance with the Lorentz Transformation equations, two fundamental
effects would be anticipated: length contraction and time dilation. In each
case the magnitude of the effect would be by a factor of gamma.

Although at first thought any reduction in length as observed from the bedroom
reference frame would seem deleterious, we must remember that the observed
dimensional contraction will occur only in the direction of motion, and that
a broad spectrum of research has established that circumference far outweighs
length as a determinant of pleasure as experienced by the woman.

Besides, it's reasonable to imagine that any reduction in stimulation owing to
length contraction would be more than offset by a gain in that most elusive
property of intercourse, time dilation. At each stroke, the time of arrival
of the dick at maximum and minimum penetration will be delayed beyond that
calculated classically, providing the extended duration of stimulation
universally sought by sexual partners.

In conclusion, it appears that the benefits of relativistic intercourse may
outweigh the shortcummings, and that the confirmational experiments should
proceed as soon as funding becomes available.

[JRwakebord]

Chruser ftw!

[D3V]

Lol holy shit chruser, +1