When you have a strange family...

[Jessifer]

...Expect the unexpected. Which would technically be expected, anyway, wouldn't it?

Okay, I have...A strange family. We're known to say random things at random time, and to have an over-supply of sarcasm around each other. Or to just plain joke around period. In this case, my father and I are a lot alike. Example - a conversation we had:

Dad: So whats for dinner?
Me: The Simpsons. ::sagenod::
Shelly: The Simpsons? OH YAH! Let's eat THEM!
Dad: I get their fingers.
Me: NO! BUT I WANT THEIR FINGERS!
Dad: I called them first!
Me: FINE! I CALL THEIR HAIR!
Shelly: You two are weird...
Dad: Fine. Have their hair.
Me: YES! Homer's hair must be a delicacy, since it's so rare.
*Family laughter*


Is anyone else's family this weird? :wierd: Got any funny family stories? I have plenty.

[J_iceman]

actually you guys are lucky that you still eat at the dinner table together as a family, my family doesn't. one of my sisters moved to another state (without telling me) and then gets married (without telling the family), yes i know my family sucks :-(

[Jessifer]

Haha..Dinner at the table...as a family? Only on the holidays. Usually only on Thanksgiving. I have four other siblings. Two older brothers, both married and have kids, one of them lives in Arkansas while the other lives near me. And I have a sister who is a year and a day older than me. She was given up for adoption when she was born, and I only recently within the last year met her for the first time. I also have a younger sister, whom I live with. I suppose we get along better than most siblings would.

And every one of us has strange quirks. For instance, the brother that lives near me...he likes dancing in his boxers. And he mooned me once when I was babysitting his daughter. Such a freaky boy. :wierd:

[Mantralord]

First, stepdad only laughs at situational irony. Second, he'd never ask "whats for dinner," because, as he puts it, we're not a restaurant, so you better eat whats on the table. So it's usually me who asks that question, and I would never get a random reply like that.

So there you have it...no random shit like that ever goes on in my family.

[!King_Amazon!]

My family is pretty normal compared to yours Jess.

[Sovereign]

I have no idea how my family is. I rarely eat with them. But rarely are they ever comedic.

[Thanatos]

Hmm... My step-mom is the most horrible human being on the face of the earth.

[Kuja]

Family ? I dont know that game.

[Jessifer]

Holy shit. :wierd: So I'm the only one with a strange family?

[KagomJack]

well...i'd tell you about my family, but i don't want to because of the recent past.

[Sovereign]

Yup jess, your the ONLY one.

[Jessifer]

Well fine, then. I'll tell more stories.

One time my older brother (the one who lives near me) drank quite a bit of the alcohol that my dad had in our fridge. He got horribly smashed (and he was still underaged at the time). For a moment he thought he was Superman, and so he jumped off the banister(whilst screaming "I'm Superman!") and onto the floor. And got rugburn down his chest.

And another time when he was drunk, he shoved his head into our fishtank and started blowing bubbles. When he pulled his head out, everyone asked why he had done that. His reply was "I was talking to the fishes!"

My brother is an idiot-drunkard.

[Sovereign]

O_o yea, he is. lol talk to the little fishies

[zagggon]

No more plz.

[Jessifer]

You're no fun. ;)

[RoboticSilence]

I had to drive my mom home recently because she was completely smashed. My family is quite humorous and my mom is really fun.

[J_iceman]

Holy shit. :wierd: So I'm the only one with a strange family? what are you talking about???
mine is wierd..er

there was this conversation where my dad is know as the "person who would eat anything" he figured out that the only thing he cant eat is blue crab and ant eggs. yes ANT EGGS!!!!! and i know its sick,

[Jessifer]

Teh fux? Ant Eggs? Your dad isn't weird, your dad is on crack.

All of the people my age in my family (Cousins, sister, ect), are all pretty much horny perverts. We'll get into graphic conversations about sex when our parent's aren't around. And on one side of the family, you have to be rather used to fart jokes.

But hey, I love my family. They amuse me.

Did I mention my mother gave my older brothers porn magazines, as well?

[Hades-Knight]

my family is your usual poor family.....nobody talks to each other, only hate them, and when somebody talks they end up in an argument or a fight

[DaFrigginDoctah]

Teh fux? Ant Eggs? Your dad isn't weird, your dad is on crack.

All of the people my age in my family (Cousins, sister, ect), are all pretty much horny perverts. We'll get into graphic conversations about sex when our parent's aren't around. And on one side of the family, you have to be rather used to fart jokes.

But hey, I love my family. They amuse me.

Did I mention my mother gave my older brothers porn magazines, as well?

But you've never had sex... -.-

My mother got me porn magazines as well, she used to be a hippy back in the day and considers all this normal and natural. We have a very open family... Also my Father buys me alcohol as long as I pay for it, then says to be careful. Because he knows if he doesn't, I know a lot of people that will so he may as well.

Hmm... I could tell you some stories about my family... But...They all weird me out too much to talk about. But let's just say you may have the SECOND oddest family here. =\

[Jessifer]

Just because I have a virgin body doesn't mean I have a virgin mind. ;)

[RoboticSilence]

One word: "Bananas"

[Thanatos]

...Man, that was unexpected.

[undeadzombieguy]

-----------------------

[Sovereign]

Wow, that is fucked up.

[KagomJack]

I got a wierd family too...sorta...

my mothers aunt has this thing with being greedy. She tried to take the complete herritige when my mother grandma died and stole money out of my grandma's purse :P
her husband helped her with almost everything (she also had some kind of sickness)
then suddenly the husband dies, he fell of the roof of there house while fixing something. the aunt said she didnt hear anything, BUT she was sitting in the living room 10 meters away and the guy was like 120 kg and fell on a bike, U know that GOTTA make some noise. Then a week after he died, my grandma discovered that they had just closed(dont really know how to say this)off a life insurance on the husband a month earlier...

this all sounds to suspicious to us, and we actually think she killed m for the money :P

whoa, that's sick. Worse than my cousin's mom keeping him for money. He's mentally retarded and gets a $900 check each week (or month, I forgot which). His mother took all the money and rarely gave him any. She also wouldn't allow him to do anything like cook, talk on the phone, and she wouldn't clean his room. She mistreated him all the time, but now he's safe.

[Kuja]

One word: "Keyboard"

[Jessifer]

Yeah. That is indeed strange. My sister-in-law has sticky fingers. She stole over $500 in coins alone from my dad. And forged a check from her own father for $600.

[KagomJack]

wow, seems almost everyone has a slick evil bastard in the family.

[!King_Amazon!]

My uncle robbed a bunch of banks and then hung himself in jail.

[KagomJack]

wow...and i thought I had a fucked up family member...O_o o_O

[Jessifer]

My aunt is highly prejudice to blacks and gays, although she tries to deny it.

[Hades-Knight]

I cant sya that of my family, since nobody has any money to steal from........only weird thign that happens is someone getting stabbed from time to time..

[Jessifer]

Ouch. My uncle recently got his foot crushed between two forklifts.

[KagomJack]

I cant sya that of my family, since nobody has any money to steal from........only weird thign that happens is someone getting stabbed from time to time..

wow...that IS weird...

[J_iceman]

dont get any ideas O_o

[Kuja]

*Stab previous poster*

[Jessifer]

My cousin got me to write a lesbian porn story once. In fact, she insisted, and wouldn't leave me alone until I finished.

Though I never did finish. She stopped talking to me soon after for unknown reasons.

[Zazu]

I have an interesting fam

[Jessifer]

Is that so?

[J_iceman]

My cousin got me to write a lesbian porn story once. In fact, she insisted, and wouldn't leave me alone until I finished.

Though I never did finish. She stopped talking to me soon after for unknown reasons. and will you be sharing that with us today??

[Jessifer]

Of course...


...Not!

[DrowningOnAir]

My uncle got caught selling sex toys on the internet.

[Penny_Bags]

Big deal, my uncle owns a Taco Bell

PWN!

[DrowningOnAir]

:( You win.

[Jessifer]

My uncle got caught soliciting a prostitute. His wife had to bail him out.

[J_iceman]

My uncle got caught selling sex toys on the internet. is that illigal in the U.S. ??

how do you go about selling YOUR old porn then?? ebay?? i think not

[RoboticSilence]

My uncle went to jail for selling drugs in the 70's...

[Jessifer]

Heh. Drugs. Almost everyone in my family has done drugs at one point. Save for my cousins, my sisters and I. And my mom.

[kaos]

My family sucks. Except for one of my uncles. He's lets me smoke bud sometimes at his house when I go (I can't now 'cause my dad and him got into a little disagreement :(). I can always get stoned at school :D.

LEGALIZE WEED!

[KagomJack]

I had a friend whose father was arrested for molesting a little boy. Needless to say that my friend was very scared after that and no one would bail out his dad. In fact his dad is still in jail. Very good thing too.

[zagggon]

LEGALIZE WEED!

[kaos]

The government CAN legalize weed but they'd have to illegalize beer. Dunno, they just don't want 2 things that can fuck you up legal.

[RoboticSilence]

Weed is less harmful than alcohol.

[Jessifer]

For the longest time my aunt wouldn't let me around my cousins because she thought I was going to hit on them.

[J_iceman]

usually the guy would hit on the girl........i guess you ARE weird...j/k :-P

[Jessifer]

Well, that's the think about being Bi-curious, yanno. I'll hit on girls too. ;)

I'll just never hit on family members, which my aunt fails to see. Prejudice bitch...

[Grav]

All of you would love to have me around because I'm a candid, sarcastic asshole.

[RoboticSilence]

Zing! Sarcastic little twit bastards are the funniest people.

[J_iceman]

Well, that's the think about being Bi-curious, yanno. I'll hit on girls too. ;)

I'll just never hit on family members, which my aunt fails to see. Prejudice bitch...

but wait, what about if one of your relatives is as hot as one of those in the porn industry!!! One of the most finest asian chick EVER, i mean a usual asian chick would have no "racks" but DAM this chick had 100 percent natural stuff!!! ass and everything; you can say she can make ANY girl turn lezbo looking at her.....

i had my chance. but for some reason, someone said no. Now she is 21, lost the body and has 4 kids. :-( i think i still have a photo of her............yes i know my family sucks

[PureRebel]

LOL JESS>.. you have the wierdest family ive ever heard.. r they always like that>?


lol

[J_iceman]

there's ALWAYS some one who's family is MORE weird...:-(

[Jessifer]

Regardless of how hot some of my family members may be, I'll never make a move on them. :slice: And yes, my family is always like this. And always will be. And one day I'll either go nuts and murder them all, or just give up and join in on their disgusting fart jokes.

I pray it's the prior choice.

Actually, I'll just move away and never deal with them ever again. And start my own family where sex jokes and humor take the place of fart jokes and the such. That'll be fun...

[J_iceman]

Regardless of how hot some of my family members may be, I'll never make a move on them. :slice: And yes, my family is always like this. And always will be. And one day I'll either go nuts and murder them all, or just give up and join in on their disgusting fart jokes.

I pray it's the prior choice.

Actually, I'll just move away and never deal with them ever again. And start my own family where sex jokes and humor take the place of fart jokes and the such. That'll be fun... that is EXACTLY what my sister did.....just thinking about it, i think she DID move to a different state and got married without telling her family, so that we wouldnt mess up her life with OUR weird lives.....O_o dam.....MY family sucks, it sucks so much that i REQUESTED to work in the holidays

[Jessifer]

Damn. Heh...That's kinda funny. ^_^