Chruser
2003-01-26, 03:28 PM
Today, it's the 26th of January, 2003, and time has passed terribly quickly as always. My birthday was two days ago, and I'm starting to think that I'm enjoying the prequel of the 17th year of my life. I know I will read this message whenever I go through old MySQL database logs again, but either way, I was laying down on my bed last night and I once again thought that life just seems to pass so terribly quickly sometimes. The clock just refuses to slow down, and even if you pull its batteries out, there will always be another one waiting to tell you that yet another day has passed.
Now that I'm 40 and reading this, did everything really turn out the way I wanted it to? Please, come back in a time machine and tell me everything, even the things I wouldn't really need to know. I just want the chance to see my own future. I'm lost in despair of not knowing what will happen to me. But honestly, it won't matter, because you, who is me, is lost in a completely different dimension than this one and can't possibly tell me what happened no matter how badly you want to.
Am I really that old now? Does it still feel like I turned 17 two days ago? What has really changed? How are my parents nowadays? Actually, was there any point WHATSOEVER in all of this endless waiting, all of those 23 years that passed since I wrote this message? Life can just feel terribly gray at times, don't you think?
So I'm sitting here right now, only 23 years back in time in a completely different dimension than the one you're in right now at this very moment. I just can't take my mind off you... Away from myself. Are you really who I think you are? Did I really end up being that caring, loving, and happy person I always wanted to be? I can sense it, how the tears are running down both of your cheeks. Just come here. Come home from the dark, gloomy mist and tell me what's waiting for me. You are so far away, yet so close.
Now that I'm 40 and reading this, did everything really turn out the way I wanted it to? Please, come back in a time machine and tell me everything, even the things I wouldn't really need to know. I just want the chance to see my own future. I'm lost in despair of not knowing what will happen to me. But honestly, it won't matter, because you, who is me, is lost in a completely different dimension than this one and can't possibly tell me what happened no matter how badly you want to.
Am I really that old now? Does it still feel like I turned 17 two days ago? What has really changed? How are my parents nowadays? Actually, was there any point WHATSOEVER in all of this endless waiting, all of those 23 years that passed since I wrote this message? Life can just feel terribly gray at times, don't you think?
So I'm sitting here right now, only 23 years back in time in a completely different dimension than the one you're in right now at this very moment. I just can't take my mind off you... Away from myself. Are you really who I think you are? Did I really end up being that caring, loving, and happy person I always wanted to be? I can sense it, how the tears are running down both of your cheeks. Just come here. Come home from the dark, gloomy mist and tell me what's waiting for me. You are so far away, yet so close.