Cigar fire Insurance!

[Adrenachrome]

True Story:

A Charlotte, NC, man having purchased a case of very rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of cigars and without having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The man sued....and won. In delivering the ruling the judge agreeing that the claim was frivolous, stated nevertheless that the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure against fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in "the fires." After the man cashed the check, however, the company had him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

[slaynish]

haha

[Thanatos]

Heard it before; some people are just stupid.

[Adrenachrome]

Another retard story:

Supposedly from a radio program, a true report of a happening in Michigan.

A guy in Michigan buys a brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee for $30,000 and has $400+ monthly payments. He and a friend decide to go duck hunting, but, of course, all the lakes are frozen. These two Atomic Brains go to the lake with guns, a dog, beer and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready.

Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. In order to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down and land on, it is going to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill. Out of the back of the new Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse. Now these two Rocket Scientists do realize that if they place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they (and the new Grand Cherokee) are standing, they risk slipping on the ice when they run from the burning fuse and they might possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast. So, they decide to light the fuse and throw the dynamite.

Remember I mentioned a vehicle, beer, guns and a dog? Yes, the dog: A highly trained black lab used for retrieving, especially things thrown by the owner. You guessed it, the dog sprints off across the ice and captures the stick of dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice.

The two men wonder what to do. They yell, scream, and wave their arms wildly. The dog, cheered on, keeps coming. One of the guys grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with 8 duck shot, hardly big enough to kill a black lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, and then continues on. Another shot and the dog, still alive, becomes really confused and scared, thinking these two Nobel Prize winners have gone insane.

He takes off to find cover, (with the now really short fuse burning on the stick of dynamite)... under the brand new Cherokee. BOOM ! Dog and Cherokee are blown to bits and sink to the bottom of the lake in a very large hole, leaving the two candidates for Co-leaders of the Known Universe standing there with a "I can't believe this happened" look on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is not covered.

He had yet to make the first of those $400+ a month payments.

[slaynish]

omfg... HAha i feel bad for the dog.. but for the dudes, they are D-U-b-m ( i spelt dumb wronge on purpose)

[Adrenachrome]

Originally posted by slaynish
( i spelt dumb wronge on purpose)



http://brawl-hall.com/pages/images/Huge_Smiley_Pack/shocked.gif


More Funny:

The following was published by an insurance company for internal distribution. These reports were submitted when policy-holders were asked for a brief statement describing their particular accident. An Ann Landers reader sent them in from Raleigh, N.C.


The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

I thought my window was down but found it was up when I put my hand through it.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the place. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

The accident occured when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.

I was driving my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.

I was on my way to the doctor's with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.

As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.

When I saw I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran him over.

I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

[Thanatos]

Originally posted by Adrenachrome



I thought my window was down but found it was up when I put my hand through it.



BAHAHAHA.

[Jamesadin]

Haha, those are great.

[tacoX]

Lol... thats some funny ass shit ;)